Burns
by Briionyy-Ransommm
Summary: AH/AU. Bella gets burnt and is relieved to find it won't scar. Or will it? When she comes face to face with someone who's been burnt and scarred, how will she deal with her feelings of love and friendship when she doesn't know what happened to him
1. Peas and a hospital visit

**A/N: Hey guys! I know I shouldn't be writing another story but MAN I was starved for creativity! I hope you enioy!**

If I knew every single word in every single language to have ever existed, no words could describe the unfathomable confusion I felt when I stared at my trigonometry text book. It wasn't the usual tear-your-mind-apart confusion, but confusion so intense that I only realized I was crying angry tears when I started to hyperventilate from all of the puffing I'd been doing since I opened the book. I knew Charlie would be home soon and I couldn't serve him pizza again or he might have my guts for garters. Huffing again, I snapped the book shut with an audible thud and raced to the kitchen. Opening the close-to-empty refrigerator didn't help my mood and I slammed it shut before mumbling incoherently. Opening the cupboard I saw a glimmer of hope.  
_Instant gravy_. Excellent. I bent over and examined our potato, onion and pumpkin supply before pulling out two of each. I walked over to the freezer and opened it, revealing frozen peas in the slot of the door. Whistling my favourite song as I prepared the roast vegetables, I was dazed enough to not hear when Charlie got home.

"Bella!" He called and I dropped the pot of hot water which contained the freshly boiled peas, dumping the boiling liquid all over myself. I shrieked and threw off all of my clothes before splashing myself with cold water from the tap. Upon hearing the commotion, Charlie turned the corner and his eyes bugged as he ran over to me and assisted with my self-saturation attempts. "Are you okay kid?" He said and I looked at the skin that was rising with blisters.  
"Sure" I said, almost in tears as the pain finally started to register.  
"I think I should get you to the hospital" he said awkwardly, as if just noticing I was in my underwear.  
"No, I'm fine" I said, also realizing and I blushed a fierce shade of red.  
"Bella, don't be too proud to admit you need some assistance" he chastised and I rolled my eyes. Looking down, I noticed that all of the skin from my collar bone to my knees was raw with blisters and was even bleeding in some places. I debated with myself on whether or not I wanted to visit the emergency room again before deciding that these burns may need some attention. I hoped they didn't scar.  
"Fine, I'll go get dressed" I grunted and headed for stares, wincing as I moved even the slightest bit.

It took me ten minutes to get up the stairs and into my room, another twenty minutes to find something to wear that wouldn't cause me pain, another five minutes to put on the airy summer dress and then another ten minutes to walk back down the stairs. I eventually made it to Charlie's car, _the police cruiser_, and let out the breath I hadn't known I was holding as soon as I sat down.  
The fact that Charlie was the police chief of this little town known as Forks wouldn't have bothered me if I wasn't always in need of him to drive me to the hospital. I didn't mind as much now, because if you get driven around enough times, the humiliation of the police car wears off to become a dull annoyance.

We made it to Forks hospital after just twenty minutes of silence and Charlie let me grip his arm as I attempted to gain enough leverage to eject myself from the car. It took us a total of twenty seven minutes to get me out of the car and into a seat in the Emergency room.  
"Isabella Swan" the nurse called out, "The doctor will see you now". She sounded bored, as if I wasn't sitting here on fire.  
After another long period of time, we were seated in the office of a very new, very handsome doctor.  
"Hello, my name is Carlisle. I just transferred here from Alaska so bear with me while I work my way around you as it seems you have an unusually extensive resume of injuries" he mused kindly and I barely held the scowl off my face before smiling. Carlisle asked me to explain what happened and then asked me to remove my sundress. I flushed red again and he looked at me apologetically.  
"I really am sorry, but I won't get a good look at your injuries otherwise" he offered and I nodded before looking pointedly at Charlie.

Once Charlie left the room I removed my dress and Carlisle examined me, clicking his tongue and prodding as my blisters. I winced when it hurt and breathed deeply when it barely stung.  
After the examination I put my dress back on and Charlie was allowed back in the room.  
"Well", Carlisle began, "I have very good news. It looks as though your burns will completely heal with very minimal, if any, scarring. You were very smart to remove the wet clothes and apply cold water. It will take a few weeks though so I would like you to apply this", he said, handing me a tube of cream, "to your burns twice a day until they are gone. All good?" He said and I nodded.  
"Yes, thank you", I breathed and smiled. Carlisle returned my smile and then began to mention how his son had been burnt but wasn't as lucky as me.  
"Your son dropped boiling water on himself?" I asked, feeling less like I was a complete idiot.  
"No, it was different. He's very self-conscious about it" he said sadly and I stopped myself asking how he'd done it, feeling like an idiot again.  
"We'd best be off Bella. Thank you Carlisle, it was a pleasure meeting you, our town is lucky to have you" he smiled and ushered me out the door.

That night was painful. When Charlie had finally gotten me inside, he'd ordered pizza and we sat down quietly to eat it once it arrived. He hovered over me, very uncharacteristic of him, frightened I would hurt myself further. I was unable to shower as even the steam hurt my burns so I gave up and went to bed. I barely slept at all.  
The next morning Charlie was very hesitant about the idea of me going to school but I assured him that I would take my cream, and I would sit out in gym. He seemed pleased with my answer and headed off to work. I left early for school knowing it would take a long time for me to get to the car and to my classes. Careful not to slip on my way to my truck, I fumbled with the keys and dropped them. It took me an extra five minutes to bend over and pick them up.  
I finally got to school and sat in the cab of my truck for longer than necessary, preparing myself for the journey I was about to embark on. Once I was sure I was mentally prepared enough, I opened the door and stepped out of my truck and into the crowded parking lot.

However, the crowd didn't matter anymore, because across the parking lot was a very disfigured, very beautiful stranger.

**A/N: So… what did you think?  
Believe it or not, the more reviews and favourites a story gets, the more inclined I am to continue it. I would LOVE to continue this one… so, you know what to do?**


	2. The burning knight

**A/N: Chapter 2! I'm getting better at this updating thing **

BPOV

The rest of the day was filled with mindless whispers about the new kid at school. Rumours about how he got so disfigured are also going around.  
I shivered as I remembered seeing him in the parking lot, staring at me for just a fraction of a second. I remembered the way his eyes were a vibrant, emerald green and his hair was a tousled mess of bronze and his skin was pale, like mine.  
Mostly though, I remembered the scars over his right cheek and neck that ran down to his fingertips and probably further. The skin was melted together into a strange shape, dragging the right-hand corner of his mouth down just a little. His eyes looked so bitterly unhappy, and worried. He looked as though he wanted to crawl away from the open gawks of the other students. But I couldn't focus on his scars, because all I saw was his beauty, and it was more astounding than I would have believed.

I hobbled through the hallways, late to every class of the day, gaining several concerned glances, and a glower every so often. I tried to avoid movement as much as possible and held my breath every time I did move. The pain was radiating today and I was having difficulty breathing because of it. As I walked into biology late, I noticed that my table wasn't empty as it usually was. I hurriedly explained my situation to Mr Banner and slowly approached the seat beside the new comer. I'd decided earlier that this must be Carlisle's son, the burn victim who wasn't as lucky as me. I saw what he meant now, and I felt my face move into a scowl involuntarily. I sat down after a short while and chanced a peak at my new neighbour only to find him staring out the window. My eyebrows furrowed as I contemplated what could be so interesting about the rain, but I let it go when Mr Banner called the class to order. I sat through the entire class, wincing only once when I moved slightly by accident. I noticed my neighbours hand open in my direction as I did this, as if in a comforting manner, but I shrugged it off as coincidence.

As class finished, I unhooked my bag from the back of my seat and started putting my things inside it. I dropped my text book on the ground and quickly bent over as a reflex to get it. The pain took a second to register, but when it did I crumpled up on my ground, rolling onto my back to avoid lying on my burns. I panted with my eyes shut, attempted to curb the nausea that presented itself because of the sheer intensity of the pain. I heard a flurry of noise around me and refused to open my eyes because I knew I would see my entire class standing over me. I then heard a quit humming and then Mr Banner asked everyone to leave the room. Desks and chairs as the other students left and I was sure it just Mr Banner left, so I opened my eyes. As soon as they were open, I wanted to shut them again. Mr Banner had evidently left the room with the rest of the students because my new neighbour was crouched over me, biting his bottom lip as he stared in the direction of my stomach where my shirt had come up slightly. He slowly reached out and placed a hand on the padding of one of the burnt areas and I hissed and winced. He retracted his hand quickly.

"Sorry" he mumbled in a voice orchestrated by angels.  
"'S'okay" I said, feeling nauseated again.  
He watched me for a moment and then stood up and stood next to me at our combined table. He rummaged through my bag and then his and came and sat on my other side holding a number of items.  
"Here" he said, handing me a full bottle of water, "the burns dry you out" he said matter-of-factly in response to my confused look. I nodded and took the bottle, guzzling down half of it once I realized how thirsty I was. "And here" he said and I looked up to see him handing me my cream with what I assumed was a warm smile on his face. It was marred by his scars.  
"Thanks" I mumbled, flushing red. I applied the cream and pushed the padding back down onto my burns, wincing again.  
"You should probably avoid sudden movements" he said, "would you like help up?" he then asked and I nodded. He offered me his left hand, even though it was on a peculiar angle from where I was lying. I put out both off my hands, asking for both of his and he mashed his mouth together, closed his eyes sadly and shook his head, re-offering me his left hand. "I'm sorry" he said, "I don't use that one". His sentence threw me. He didn't say he _couldn't_ use it, he said he _doesn't_. I wondered why that was, and then I remembered Carlisle telling me that his son was very self-conscious of his scars. I suddenly felt very sad for this stranger.

After a long struggle, he finally had me steady on my feet with my eyes squeezed shut because I had accidently placed the palm of my hand on the burns on my thigh to hoist myself up.  
"Are you alright?" he asked.  
"Yeah, I think so" I said through bared teeth. Suddenly, I was standing by myself feeling very vulnerable as I heard another rummaging sound. I opened my eyes again and he was walking to stand in front of me again. He had a tube of blue gel-like stuff and was shaking it.  
"May I?" he said, gesturing to my thigh.  
"Do you know how?" I asked and then instantly regretted it when I took another look at his cheek. Luckily though, his mouth tilted up in a half smile.  
"My father is a doctor, he teaches me a lot of things" he said as he squatted into a crouch again. He gently lifted my skirt and asked me to hold the end and he squirted some of the blue gunk into his right hand. When he was satisfied with the amount, he closed the rid against his wrist and scooted closer to me. He used his left hand to gently scoop some of the blue gel up and apply it to the burns he has released from under the padding. At first, it was a platonic kind of pain, and then it dulled and spread into a cool, soothing feeling. I look down and he was blowing air on the gel he had applied and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as the pain of my burns on my thighs dulled into nothing but a small ebb.  
"Thank you…?" I trailed off, realizing I had no idea who this was.  
"Edward" he smiled at me, displaying his teeth. I smiled back at him, breathless because of his utter and astounding beauty.  
"Thank you Edward".

**A/N: So, what did you think?**


	3. Claws and Fainting

**A/N: So, today I received heaps of reviews after my update this afternoon, and it made me really keen to update more. This is about 200/300 words longer than both of the other chapters because I was just so excited about writing it! I hope this clears up any confusion that the other chapters may have posed. **

**Read on:  
**

Edward had been on my mind for weeks.  
His face.  
His hair.  
His eyes.  
His smile.  
His voice.  
His _scars_.  
I shuddered at the image. His face was blissful perfection, apart from the raging patch that covered most of his right cheek and trailed its way down his right side. I didn't care though. In no way did I have anything against this, because it made him even more beautiful to me. Sure, he was breathtaking. That was plain just by looking into his eyes. But his scars, though hideous, told a story of a beautiful person, who went through a terrible thing, which could come out still being a beautiful person. Whether or not he was beautiful in his heart or on his face didn't matter, and I couldn't quite place my finger on what drew me to him and what made him so wonderfully pleasant to look at. I do suppose it was his eyes, or his hair, or a combination of the both. But I couldn't get over the way he existed with an image of fierce bravery, as if facing the world was almost too much but he took off his mask and went anyway. I was enchanted by the fact that he could still sit in a classroom full of people who did nothing but stare and conjure up silly explanations for what must have happened to him, he could walk through the halls, through the cafeteria, and he could acknowledge people who passed him. He could do all that and not look the least bit phased apart from his refusing to use his right hand. It was mesmerizing how one person could be so strong, so fierce and so real.

He hadn't talked to me again, since the day he helped me after my mishap in biology. After he'd told me his name, every time I spoke it he seemed to freeze up and walk faster, or completely ignore me. That frustrated me more than I was able to vocalize because I didn't know why it affected me so much. It almost _hurt_.

So, today was Monday, exactly 24 days since I'd had my incident, and 23 days since Edward had spoken to me. My burns weren't looking any better but they hurt a little less now, although I had fallen into the careless routine of slapping on the cream before I left school in the mornings and before I went to bed at night. I'd been to see Carlisle again and he seemed as confused as I felt, and told me that he may have made a mistake and that my burns might scar. That had sent me into shock, but then I thought that I could be as brave as Edward, and I felt okay, but that gave me incentive to ask Carlisle how he was. He changed the subject swiftly and I barely caught the look he gave his phone as if to will it to ring. He mumbled about Edward being fine but busy and I didn't buy it for one second. But for now, Monday preoccupied me and I could concentrate on something that wasn't Edward.

I was able to walk faster now which was a plus because I was getting used to walking with my feet slightly more apart so my burns wouldn't rub together. I still wasn't able to wear my jeans yet but I opted for cargo pants and shorts that went to the knee. It was a frustrating compromise but it was the only one I could go for. Charlie had been bugging me every day about wearing clothes that would disturb my burns and increase the chance of scarring but I couldn't find it in me to care anymore.

I walked into Biology with my hands in my pockets as I did every day but halted when I saw that the desk I shared with Edward was empty. Upon seeing this, I clenched my fist and then I cried out in pain. I'd recently opted to go without the padding so when I closed my fists I'd ripped at my burns on my thighs. There was blood seeping through the checkers on my pants and only a small part of me was upset because they were the only suitable shorts I owned. The rest of me though was struggling not to scream again and so I urgently removed myself from the room and walked hastily towards the office. Tears had started rolling out of my eyes and I was too scared to unclench my fists and take them out of my pockets because I was afraid of the pain it might cause me. It didn't slip my mind though that my thigh burns were the one I had the most trouble with. This didn't just feel like ordinary scratches though, this felt like I had taken a knife and shredded the landscape… Like someone had taken a lawn mower to my skin.

When I entered the office the tears were steadily falling and my body was shuddering with the sobs I wouldn't let control me. I could feel that my hands were covered in blood and I cursed myself for not cutting my finger nails, and I also knew that my pants were nearly soaked. It seemed like a lot of blood from a few scrapes.  
"Ms Cope" I spoke directly to the lady behind the counter and she glanced up before her eyes grew wide.  
"Bella, what happened?" she gasped and I blinked away more stubborn tears.  
"I need to go to the hospital and see my doctor. Could you please call my dad to come and get me?" I measured each word carefully before if I spoke freely I knew my voice would crack with the sobs that threatened to humiliate me.  
"Of course" she said and picked up the phone, dialling quickly while glancing at me far more than necessary.  
I moved slowly and sat on one of the chairs that lined the tiny office. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through the pain, and before I knew it, I heard Charlie's voice.  
"Bella, come on kiddo, I called Carlisle and he's expecting us" he said reassuringly. Another bout of tears escaped and clouded my vision. I blinked them away and slowly stood up, almost shrieking when that jostled my fists. Charlie guided me to the cruiser and opened the door for me. I slowly sat in the seat and leaned my head against the head rest, closing my eyes again. "You okay Kid?" I heard Charlie again.  
"Mmmm" was all I could manage before a fresh wave of pain hit me and I had to hold my breath to stop myself from screaming. I couldn't understand why this hurt so much when it was just a few scratches.

What seemed like an eternity later, I was sitting in Carlisle's office and he was asking me to show him what I'd done.  
"I can't" I said, my voice quivering as my pain showed even more.  
"Why not?" he asked.  
"I'm too scared to move my hands. I'm still holding on to what I ripped up" I whispered shakily, unable to control it now.  
Carlisle reached over and touched me on the arm.  
"I will get you some morphine first if you like?" he offered and I nodded. He then paged a nurse and she came in, nodding when he gave her the instruction of getting me morphine.  
She came back less than five minutes later and before I knew it, there was morphine in my system, clouding everything.  
"Let go now Bella" Carlisle said and I did as he asked. We were still in his office and I unclasped my hands, wincing a little at the left over part of me that the morphine hadn't hit yet. I undid my pants and the fell to my ankles and I barely registered the slight sticky noise I heard. Then, as if planned, the door opened and Edward walked in holding a bunch of folders. He lifted his head as he was talking.  
"Dad, I got your files from Judy down in reco-" he stopped and stared, "Bella, what did you do?" he barely whispered. I looked at him, confused by the sudden whiteness of his face, and he was looking at my legs.

I looked down, and the next thing I need, I was staring at the ceiling.

**A/N: Good enough?**


	4. Hands and Mutilation

**A/N: I think I may love you guys a little too much…  
Update number 4! And number 3 in the last 15 hours…**

The roof started to spin as I lay there, trying desperately to fight against the next bout of nausea that threatened me. It wasn't an easy thing to do, especially when the image of my bloodied burns was etched behind my eyes, on the walls, everywhere I looked. Everywhere but Edward's face, but I would look like an idiot if I focused on him.

"Bella…" he said again, hesitant this time, "What did you do to yourself?" he sounded sad and I wanted to tell him that it was nothing, just a small scratch, but I knew as well as he did that I would be lying if I said that.

"I'll be back in a moment, I need something to dress this until I can get a better room" Carlisle murmured as he stood up and swiftly left the room.

Edward came as sat by me after placing the pile of folders he'd been carrying.  
He pursed his lips as he looked at me, stretching the scar that plagued his right cheek.

"This was incredibly irresponsible Bella" he said almost angrily and I just stared at him in confusion and in happiness that he was actually speaking to me now.

I was about to ask him what he meant when Carlisle re-entered the room, holding bandages and more padding. He shoved Edward aside gently, apologising when he brushed his right arm. Edward nodded stiffly at the apology and then relaxed again. Carlisle busied himself with dressing my injury while I stared at Edward, trying to understand why accidently scratching my burns was so irresponsible.

After Carlisle moved me to a room with brighter lights, and more equipment, he paged a nurse and asked her to bring things he may need. I still wasn't wearing pants, which I was hyper aware of, and I was blushing every time someone looked at me. I dared myself to look at my thighs again, forcing myself to keep the eye contact until I could thoroughly examine my own injuries. The skin on the top of my thighs was sliced to such a degree that it wasn't actually recognizable as skin. The skin under it was scratched too. This wasn't the most shocking though, not even close. The most shocking part was that my skin and my burns looked dead, completely dead, as if my fingernails are speared their heart and all of the circulation ceased. It was a strange colour between my normal alabaster, and sunshine yellow, and it made my stomach uneasy. So all in all, it looked at a massacre had occurred under my shorts, and I was the one with the weapon.

Carlisle picked up a pair of what looked like an overgrown pair of tweezers and clamed a piece of the torn up skin in the ends of it. I was grateful more than ever in that moment for the existence of Morphine in my system. As he lifted it, the same sticky sound I'd heard earlier when I'd removed my pants rang out and I shivered as my stomach lurched. He placed the mutilated skin in a silver bowl beside him and continued to repeat this until the top layer of skin was gone. He stared at my raw thighs and I was nearly in tears. The skin underneath was closer to my natural skin colour, which a hint of pink, but it had scratches and _scars_ on it. I fought the tears away when I chastised myself for destroying this part of my body before it even had a chance to appear. The nurse appeared with a small plastic basket full of things and Carlisle thanked her kindly.

"So Bella", Carlisle said conversationally, as if he wasn't probing my distressed thighs.

"Hm?" I responded, almost grateful for the distraction.

"How did this happen?" he asked.

"I had my hands in my pockets and," I gestured to my thighs, "Voila".

"No," he said, shaking his head slightly, "I meant, what on earth could have caused you to rip up your burns? _How_ did this happen?" he reiterated and I suddenly blushed, remembering the anxiety and other strange emotions when I'd seen that Edward wasn't in biology.

"I'd rather not talk about that, if that's okay" I said, embarrassed. Carlisle sighed, but nodded in allowance.

I deliberated for a long moment, trying to gauge the strength of my voice.

"Carlisle," I said finally.

"Yes Bella?" he said and I bit my lip, almost crying again.

"I have scars…" I began and his eyes softened to an extent that it was almost shocking.

"Yes, I saw those. I'm sorry Bella; I didn't think your burns were bad enough to scar _under_ them. In any case, the fact that they were that bad and you only obtained this amount of scarring is actually a good thing. It might not seem like it, but you are very lucky" he said.

My heart sank at his words. I didn't want to be called _lucky_ for getting a small amount of scars. I felt disgusting, ugly. I couldn't handle this right now. Somehow though, at that moment a completely different though popped into my head.

"Where's my dad?" I asked, not remembering if he'd been in Carlisle's office, or if he stayed in the waiting room.

"Waiting room" Carlisle said as he snipped the tape on the final part of my dressing. I nodded in response and he stood up. "I have to go on rounds, would you like me to get Charlie to keep you company?" he asked and I almost said yes before something else occurred to me. A question I needed answered.

"Actually," I began, "Could you get Edward?" I asked and his face was almost disapproving.

"I don't know Bella…" he said and I cut him off.

"Please, we have an unfinished conversation that I would much rather not miss" I stated and he sighed, nodded and left the room.

A few minutes later, Edward entered the room, a resigned look on his face.

"My father said you wanted to see me?" he questioned and I nodded, pointing at the chair that was beside my bed. He shook his head.

"No thank you, I'll stand" he said curtly.

"Okay…" I said.

"Why would you do this, it's so irresponsible?" he said after a few silent minutes and I cocked my head, confused. There he goes again with the cryptic, blaming the accident on me, comments.

"Why do you keep saying that stuff?" I almost whispered, spiralling in confusion.

"Hurting yourself won't make them go away" he said, almost too quietly for me to hear. "I should know."

I stared at him, my mouth agape for a few minutes before my heart warmed and thudded sadly.

"I didn't do this to myself intentionally Edward" I explained softly and his fingers twitched as I said his name.

"Then why did it happen?" he said. I sighed, looking down.

"You'll start not talking to me again, if I tell you" I mumbled sadly and suddenly, he was sitting in the chair next to me.

"I am sorry about that. I will explain one day, but right now, can _you_ explain why you're in the hospital?" he pleaded and I sighed, quickly embarrassed and hyper-aware that I was blushing. "Please" he murmured and I looked straight at him.

"It's so stupid" I began and he gestured with his left hand for me to continue. I sighed yet again. "I walked into biology and you weren't there…" I said and he looked at me blankly.

"Go on…" he said and I bit my lip.

"That's it. You weren't there and for some reason I got this weird mush of feelings and clenched my fists…" I explained hurriedly, embarrassed tears falling from my eyes.

"Why do you care?" I heard him mumble and I turned to look at him. His face was sad and… confused?

"Because I do" I answered and he looked at me as if he couldn't fathom what I was saying. "Why did you ask that?" I asked and he didn't break eye contact with me.

"Because no one else ever had Bella. Look at this," he pointed to his right cheek, but I didn't flinch. His eyebrow rose as he spoke again. "I'm not exactly something people want to care for" he said and I couldn't speak, shocked as I realized he'd used his right hand to point at his face, and with the action his ever present long-sleeved jacket rode up and I could see more of his scars. I reached forward quickly and took his right hand. He froze.

I held his hand for a long while, tracing the lines of his scars with the gentlest of touches. I looked at him a few times and every single time, his eyes were closed.

"You know," I mused and his eyes opened. They were resigned and scared. "I think you are worth caring for. More than I have ever cared for anyone, I care for you. I think…" I began and stopped. Unsure how he would take what I wanted to say

"What Bella?" he asked softly, and I was almost taken aback by the sound of it.

"I think…" I started again and took a deep breath. "I think you're beautiful" I finally said. I felt proud of myself for saying it.

His reaction though, I was not prepared for.


	5. Punches and Confusion

**A/N: Hello Here we are! Chapter five **

I stared at him in shock for the longest time. I couldn't believe that he would have the nerve to laugh at me. I had confessed something so personal to him and he was _laughing._

I turned to glower at him and was shocked to see sadness and hurt on his face, and his laughter turned dark.

"You really thought I would fall for it all didn't you?" he said angrily and I was bewildered.

"What do you mean?" I asked and he glared at me.

"You almost had me believing that you cared for me. How atrocious of my ego to grow to a point where I thought someone cared!" he chuckled darkly again and I looked at him, feeling tears come to my eyes.

"You think I'm _lying?_" I choked and he stared at me as if he were watching an actress do her worst performance yet.

"I've been like this long enough to know when someone genuinely cares, and when someone is making fun of me" he hissed and I flinched.

"Been like what?" I asked dumbly and he rolled his eyes.

"Like this Bella!" he roared, standing up and shoving the chair back. "Like. Freaking. This" he yelled again, pointing at his face. "I'm not some idiot you can befriend and hurt Bella. I'm not going to be your ploy into popularity as the girl who took pity on the guy with the messed up face!" he was positively fuming, but I just stared at him. "How silly of me to think you actually _cared_. As if anyone could actually care!" he yelled even louder.

"You're wrong" was all I said and I stood up, flinching as the morphine was wearing off, and stood at the door. "Please, get out" I said calmly, holding the door open for him. He seemed rooted in place.

"No, I want you to tell me why you've been doing this" he said, much calmer than before.

"I haven't been doing anything" I huffed and he launched head first into another rant.

"Stop lying to me! You don't think I see myself when I look in the mirror? You think I see this guy who could be friends with someone like _you?_ Well I don't, and I do not appreciate you playing with my vulnerability". I was taken aback, breathless almost, and about ready to cry, scream, crumble and hit him, all at the same time. First though, I had a question.

"Someone like me?" I asked, scrutinizing him with my gaze. "What do you mean someone like _me_?"

"I… never mind" he huffed and attempted to barge past me, but I reached out and grabbed his right arm. He retracted it violently but didn't move.

"Grow up Edward and tell me what you meant" I practically ordered and he looked at me with a mix of fear and hatred.

"Someone like you," he barely whispered, never breaking my gaze.

"Yes I got that. What does it mean?"

"Someone worth it" he whispered again, and was gone from the room.

I stared blankly at the empty space where he'd just been standing next to me. All of this bent up frustration was making my fingers twitch, so I rushed to the stash of medical supplies and put on one of the patient gowns so I wouldn't have to walk around pants less. I walked out of the room and speed walked until I round the corner and saw him leaning against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, Edward" I called and walked over to him. He looked up at me, seeming frustrated and vulnerable, but I didn't care.

"What do you want?" he practically spat. I didn't need to be asked twice now did I?

I pulled my right arm back, curled my fingers into a tight fist and took a deep breath before swinging my arm forward with all of my force. When my fist connected with his jaw I felt pain in my knuckles and I cuddled my hand to my chest, breathing in and out deeply.

"What the _hell_?" He yelled and stared at me, his eyes full of shock. He was rubbing circles around his jaw; his mouth cocked open and moving, gauging the pain.

"Next time," I started and began walking backwards, "don't be so freaking confusing" I said angrily and matter-of-factly as I turned and retreated back to the room Carlisle had left me in. Once there, I found a bandage and gingerly wrapped it around my now swollen hand.

Now that I thought about it, my punch didn't at all seem justified, and I began to feel guilty. Carlisle walked in a few minutes later and gave me a pointed, knowing look and I looked away from his gaze, blushing furiously. I wanted to ask him to get Edward again, so I could apologise, but I thought against it. He checked over my wounds and told me I could go home, but would have to let my legs rest over the next few days, so I wasn't allowed at school. He told me I was free to go and handed me a long skirt that he said he'd gotten from lost and found. I swiftly changed from my hospital gown to the skirt and the shirt I was still wearing.

"Oh, Bella?" Carlisle called as I was making my way down the hall to the waiting room to meet up with Charlie. I turned around.

"Yes?"

"Please don't be too hard on him. He's never met someone like you so he doesn't know how to react. Give him another chance, he'd be a good friend to have," he yelled and I noticed how he didn't say he _was_ a good friend, but that he _would_ be. Does Edward not have any friends? I couldn't dwell on that now thought because it just occurred to me what the rest of his sentence was and I sighed in frustration.

"What the hell is so special about someone like _me_!" I yelled to no-one in particular, exasperated. I turned on my heel and walked into the waiting room where Charlie was sitting, looking very uncomfortable around all of the spluttering flu victims. I called his name and he looked up, relief flooding his face.

"What happened to you hand Bella?" he asked as he stood up and made his way over to me.

"Nothing" I mumbled, not wanting to get into this.

"If you say so. Gee Bella, I've never met anyone else who can come into the hospital needing help with the legs, and leave with a bruised and swollen hand! It must be a special trait of someone like you," he joked and I stared at him, fuming.

"What the _hell_!"

**A/N: So, did you like it?**


	6. Hugs and Believing

**A/N:** **So, Chapter 6 anyone?**

I was plagued by the phrase that people kept saying about me and people _like_ me. I couldn't understand what was so special about a girl who fell down a lot and continuously damages her existing wounds. It's unfortunate as heck, yeah, but it wasn't _special_. But I was also plagued by what Carlisle had said about Edward. I wanted to know why he didn't have any friends, and I wanted to know if he had _ever_ had any. After his explosive rage fit at me, I wondered if he would scream at anyone who would be nice to him, and genuinely think he was worth it.

That train of thought stopped me in my tracks as I was walking through the halls of my high school. It had been six school days that I had been at home and I was so frustrated with the cabin fever. But what stopped me was the thought of something that Edward had said to me when I had confronted him about what he meant about me. He'd described someone like me as someone _worth_ it. Oh, yeah, because that won't confuse me at all.

I started moving again and rounded the corner to see Edward walking in the same direction I was coming from. I stiffened and moved all the way to the other side of the hall, waves of guilt smacking me down when I saw the bruise on his jaw. His glance caught my line of sight and I blushed, looking away.

"Bella," he called softly and I was shocked by the utter tenderness of the noise. I looked up at him; my face evidently betrayed my shocked because he smiled a small, crooked smile. My heart nearly stopped at the sheer beauty of him.

"Yes?" I said, careful not to sound shocked.

"Could we talk?" he asked and for an instant he looked sad, almost childlike.

"Okay" I said and went to move towards him but he put up his hand and shook his head.

"Later, privately" he murmured and I tried to ignore the way my heart sped up at the thought of having alone time with him.

I nodded before turning and walking away towards homeroom. I was suddenly a new kind of confused. Was it really just a few days ago that he was practically screaming at me in the hospital and now he wanted to talk?

The day was going almost agonizingly slow and when lunch eventually came around I was anxious to see Edward. I rushed as fast as I could out of my room, fully intending to go to the cafeteria, only to stop dead in my tracks when I saw that he was leaning against the wall outside my classroom, pinching the bridge of his nose again. I took a deep breath and clenched my shaking hands before walking over to him.

"Hey" I breathed and he jumped. I laughed a little too loudly and he glared at me grumpily. "Oh come on, it was funny" I defended myself and he shook his head before gesturing down the hallway with it. I nodded and followed his lead. "So," I began and he looked at me, "where do you want to talk?" I asked and he seemed to deliberate for a moment.

"Could we find some grass?" he asked and I nodded, feeling warmer at the thought even though outside would be wet and cold. We found a mostly-dry patch of grass and sat down, facing each other. I was looking down absently picking grass out of the ground when I heard him exhale loudly.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked and he looked at me as if he wanted to run away, and not approach the subject.

"I…" he started and then shook his head, his face twisted into a grimace. He looked away and began mumbling quietly to himself.

"Edward?" I said and he looked at me, a split second of vulnerability dancing on his face alerted me to the possible seriousness of this discussion.

"Bella, I'm sorry" he whispered and I cocked my head to the side.

"For what?" I questioned and he ripped up a fist full of grass blades.

"Being such a jerk the other day" he whispered again and I nodded. "I'm not normally so… _rude_… And I don't know why I displayed such wretchedly un-gentlemanly behaviour towards you" he explained and I looked at him meaningfully.

"I do" I said and he stared at me, confusion plain of his face. "You thought I was lying to you" I said and he bit his lip.

"I still do" he said sadly and I moved closer to him, taking his hand in both of mine as I had at the hospital the other day. He sat incredibly still at I traced his scars again with my fingertips.

"Please believe me" I whispered and a single tear rolled out of the corner of my eye. I'd had no idea I was so adversely affected by his lack of faith in him as an importance.

"Why are you crying?" he asked me, perplexed.

"I don't know" I said truthfully, feeling more tears come down.

"Please don't cry" he whispered so quietly I barely heard it. A sob erupted embarrassingly from my chest and I released one of my hands to cover my mouth as more tears fell easily. "Can I hug you?" he asked and that shocked the sobs away for the moment.

"What?" I asked, breathless.

"I would like to hug you" he stated and I smiled slightly, letting his hand go and standing up. He looked at me with a very confused expression and I just motioned for him to stand also. "So, is that a no?" he asked wearily and I crushed myself to him. Burying my face to his chest, listening to the thud of his heartbeat, I wrapped my arms around him. At first, his shock was evident in every inch of his body, but after a few excruciatingly long seconds, I felt his arms wrap around me and his chin rest on my head. My heart thumped to an unsteady beat which was way too fast for it to be normal and my fingertips buzzed with the static that ran through them.

"I need you to believe me" I whispered against his chest and he lifted his head up and looked down at me. I looked up at him in response.

"Pardon?" he asked.

"I need you to believe me when I say that I care about you" I explained and a tear rolled from the corner of his left eye. I quickly wiped it away with my finger and put my arm back around him. His bewildered expression would have been funny under most other circumstances, but today I knew it was the start of him believing.

"Why though?" he questioned and I stared at him.

"Because", I stopped, thinking of how to word my response, "someone like _me_," I said the words with the slightest hint of venom, "needs someone like _you_ in their life."

That was the day I became friends with Edward Cullen.

**A/N: So, what did you think? (:  
YAY they're friends!**


	7. Trig and Spaghetti

**A/N: I was reading through my reviews and you guys make me smile so much! God bless you! Here's Chapter 7 **

Edward and I had decided to take our friendship slow, because he had some trust issues about me and if I was lying or not. _Still._ It had been four weeks since our heartfelt grassy conversation, and the hug that changed so much, but he was still sceptical about me and my motives. If only he knew that my motives weren't even motives, and that I was just going purely off what my feelings were; pure, undeniable, unbreakable friendship. Though I couldn't exactly deny the feelings of attraction I felt towards him, but I wouldn't put that on him. No way.

I hadn't met his family yet, because he seemed off put by it, so for now I stuck with knowing Carlisle, and having Edward at my house every other day.

This afternoon we were at my house doing homework. Charlie had almost had a cardiac arrest when he came home the first time to find Edward sitting on our couch, bent over a Trigonometry text book. That was another upside to our newly formed friendship; Edward knew Trigonometry and would tutor me. No more blank stares at the horrible calculations in front of me, because now I could form some understanding, and every day I was getting better.

Charlie got home at around six o'clock and smiled when he saw Edward going through the math with me. He liked it that I had a friend who was willing to help me, and I think he also liked that Edward wasn't being left out. Charlie always had a soft spot for the underdog. That was one of the things my mother, Renee had always said she loved about him, or so he said. I never met her because she died giving birth to me, so in some ways it was like a part of me was missing, but mostly I was content in my life with Charlie, because he raised me to be strong, courageous, generous and kind. I don't know if she would have raised me any differently, but this was my life, and apart from the incredible unco-ordinatedness, I was okay.

"You kids hungry?" Charlie called from the kitchen and Edward got uneasy as he did every time Charlie asked this. When I'd approached him about it, he'd simply said that he wasn't used to people talking to him as often as he was spoken to in this house.

"Are you staying for dinner?" I whispered, hopeful. Edward seemed to deliberate for a moment before a small smile broke out on his face.

"Sure," he quietly said, smile still in place. I smiled back at him.

"Yeah, we're hungry" I called back to Charlie, "Do you need some help?"

"Nope, you stay in there, young lady and finish your homework" Charlie said as he leaned around the door frame with a goofy grin. He winked at me and my face morphed into frozen shock. Did he just make a joke about me and Edward?

"Just friends" I mimed at him, careful not to make any noise and he rolled his eyes.

"Sure" he mimed back. I glared at him momentarily and then turned my focus back onto the math that sat in front of me.

Charlie called out that dinner was ready thirty minutes later. Edward and I entered the kitchen and to find three steaming bowls of Spaghetti Bolognaise placed at the different chairs around the table. In the centre of the table to a plate that hosted a very delicious smelling garlic baguette. My stomach rumbled and I blushed.

"Looks and smells amazing Charlie" Edward offered in a warm voice.

"Thanks Edward, take a seat" Charlie smiled genuinely and I was happy that they were interacting. Edward needed this.

We sat down at our respective places and began to eat in silence. Once the food was all gone, Edward offered to do this dishes and Charlie let him. I watched curiously as Edward maneuvered the dishes in such a way that his right hand never entered the hot water. When he was done he said he had to leave so I followed in into the lounge room as he collected his things. I had the sudden urge to hug him again, just like we had that day. We hadn't hugged since then, and I missed it a lot.

"Edward" I whispered as he was gathering his books into a pile.

"Yes Bella?" he turned, smiling slightly.

"I'd like to hug you" I repeated his words from the last time we hugged and to my delight, he spread his arms wide for me to enter. I stepped forward into his embrace, and sighed happily when he wrapped his arms around me.

"Thank you" he whispered and I just hugged him tighter.

"We can't leave it so long between hugs" I mumbled and he chuckled, the happy sound one I had never heard from him.

"I agree" he responded and let go and held me at arm's length. "You know," he said and then looked directly into my eyes, "You're the first friend I have ever had, you know, since becoming like this" he mused and I felt tears prickle my eyes.

"I'm sorry" I quietly mourned for his friendless years.

"No, I didn't say that to make you pity me, Bella." He laughed and then started again; "I said it because I want you to know how much it means to have someone like _you_ in _my_ life" he smiled a little wider when I grimaced at the over-used description of people like me; his smile still only small.

"Why don't you ever smile big?" I asked before I could stop my mouth. I blushed again and looked down.

"I haven't done that since it happened" he answered, and I couldn't help but analyse how he always referred to his burns as 'it' or 'this'. I still didn't know exactly what happened to him. Well, any of what happened to him apart from he got burnt.

"Well", I murmured, "I hope I get to see you smile a huge smile, because then I can take the credit" I smiled with all of my teeth and he laughed at me, a soft look in his eyes.

"Silly Bella," he laughed, "You have been the reason for every smile since I got this way" he said gently, his voice so soft that it was almost music.

"And how long has that been?" I asked and he seemed almost unwilling to answer, but he did anyway.

"Almost ten years" he replied and I shivered, thinking of a seven year old receiving this much damage. I didn't know how to respond, so I just stepped forward and hugged him again.

As he was leaving, he turned to me as he headed for his car.

"Bella" he called and I nodded. "I think I am starting to believe you. Please don't ruin it" he warned sadly, and I couldn't help myself.

I ran out into the rain a planted a kiss on his right cheek.

**A/N: Yay?**


	8. Broken hope in nauseated ropes

**A/N: Update Chapter number 8! This one is longer… there is a reason, and it is **_**good**_**.**

**Read on…**

I didn't know why I did it, but I did. I kissed his cheek four more times, and then turned around and ran back into my house, the water dripping from my hair and every other part of me. I was positively drenched and a complete emotional mess because I realized in that instant just how much Edward meant to me. I couldn't dwell on that now though, I would leave that for bedtime.

Charlie walked out of the kitchen and stopped in the hallway, staring at me speculatively.

"What happened, Bella?" he asked suspiciously and I shook my head dismissively.

"Nothing" I replied and went up to my room. I peered out my window and saw that he was still standing there, in the rain. I opened the window to call out to him but my voice was weak even to my own ears. I gave up and went back downstairs, opening the front door and walking back out onto the porch. "Edward" I called and his eyes flashed to mine, and I was shocked to see tears falling from them so visibly, even in the rain. "Edward" I mumbled and ran out to him again.

"Bella…" he choked and then turned and ran, hopping in his car and speeding away, leaving me standing in the rain like an idiot. My hand was out, extending towards where he'd just been and I felt sadness creep over me. Exactly what had just happened? Why did we both react so emotionally to my simple act? My tips tingled as I remembered the feel of his scar under them, and my finger touched my mouth.

"Bella" I heard from behind me and I turned to see Charlie standing on the porch, towel in hand. I turned slowly and made my way towards him, my hand never leaving my mouth. He wrapped the towel tightly around me and I clutched it together with my other hand.

"Thanks" I mumbled and made my way inside, up the stairs and into the bathroom. As soon as I was undressed, I took a quick glance at my burns which still hadn't healed and a tear rolled from my eyes as I realized I would be disfigured, _disgusting,_ forever and no one would ever want to be with someone who looked like that. I suddenly had a mild understanding of why Edward had a hard time believing I wanted to be his friend.

I looked with hatred at the way my skin was stretched into clumps, and was riddled with blisters and bumps. I looked down at my legs without the mirror, because the reflective glass wouldn't show me that far down. A sob escaped my mouth as I looked on at the horrible scarring that was happening all over my body. I was so full anger at my stupidity while boiling _peas_ of all things.

Tears fell freely as I thought of all the things I was going to be missing out on. Things such as feeling beautiful, _looking_ beautiful, wearing _shorts_ and _skirts_, dating and more importantly, love. I couldn't comprehend how someone could love someone with so much marring on their skin. I didn't know what I had done so wrong in my life that I was dealt a hand that resulted in me dying alone. As far as I was concerned, I had just pulled the trigger on my final round of Russian roulette and my heart wasn't happy.

I climbed into the shower and turned the water on warmer than I normally do, trying to test the pain I felt when the heart hit my withered skin. I winced only slightly and that provided some relief in knowing that the pain I felt was getting less severe, and that I wouldn't had to shy away from temperature appropriate showers for much longer. I curled up on the floor and cried to myself for a long time, only resurfacing from the shower when Charlie banged on the door, signalling that he was going to bed. I switched off the shower and dried myself before putting on my warmest pyjamas as the brisk coldness of the evening became evident to me.

As I had promised myself, when I crawled into bed, I let my mind wander to Edward and the way I felt about him. I had a small amount of amusement banked up at the fact that I hadn't realized until I'd kissed him. Well, until I had kissed his _cheek_. I had become aware of my attraction to him a few weeks ago, that wasn't anything new. The thing that caught me most off guard was the undeniable urge I had to slide my mouth just the slightest, and kiss him on the mouth. I'd wanted to kiss him, and tell him that everything would be okay and that I would never leave him. How could I promise that though?

How could I say those things when he probably looked at me with disgust and pity? Surely though, with the way he hated himself, he couldn't find any more hate in him to hold over me could he? _Of course_, the heartbroken majority of me whispered, _of course he can._ He could never see beauty in me, when I have the same wretched scars that mark his face, neck and arm, all the way from my collarbone to my knees? There wasn't a section in between there that was unmarked, untainted, _beautiful, _and there never would be again.

Mournful cries erupted from me and I had to silence the upset loudness with my pillow, sobbing directly into it, letting my tears soak the soft fabric; my pain being soaked into the comfiest fabric to have ever existed. I cried for the rest of the night, and probably well into the morning.

**A/N: So, surprise point of view anyone?**

EPOV

I just stood there, hyperventilating at the thought of her mouth on my skin. Why hadn't she shied away at the mere feel of it, and why did she do it four extra times after the first? The tingle in my arms had flared, and I desperately wanted to reach out and hold her to me, and ask her to please, do it again, but before I could, she turned and ran.

That was the reaction I should have received the first time she'd kissed me; not the fifth. She just simply ran away from me and slammed the door behind her.

It could have been an eternity later that she came back out of the house. She called my name and I looked up, and all of the grief I felt over our friendship escaped my tear ducts as I realized she'd come back out to say goodbye, to say we couldn't be friends anymore. I honestly didn't know if I could handle hearing her say the words, so I said her name as a final farewell and did what I do best; I ran away.

I drove faster than was legal back to my house. I begged the tears to stay dormant until I was in the safety of my room, or the complete safety of my shower. When I finally pulled up to the house, I ran as fast as I could up to my room, unwilling to join any family discussion that may be occurring. I reached the third floor and slammed my door shut, locking it from the inside, knowing full well that no one from the outside could get in when I locked my padlock also.

I threw off my clothes angrily and glared, seething when I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My bare torso displayed ugly, disgusting afflictions that had been done _to me. _I hadn't asked for this, and it was through no fault of my own or my families that I ended up like this, and I couldn't even tell _Bella_ what had happened. I knew she'd been wondering, but I couldn't find it in myself to tell her that I was a victim, that I was worthless and pathetic and that other people felt the need to show me that fact.

I punched my mirror when I thought of her, cracking it from the middle, outwards. I retracted my hand and growled in pain as the searing slices became abruptly obvious. I rushed to the bathroom and turned on the tap, running the water over my hand as I picked out the class shards. Wonderful, another scar. Another reason why she would never look twice at me. I gave up when the water wouldn't run clear, and I was sure all of the glass was out of my hand.

I threw open the glass door of my shower and turned the water on as hot as I could stand it. I removed the rest of my clothes and stood under the steaming flow of water, rejoicing silently as the heat unknotted my back muscles and calmed me slightly. I thought about my scars, and the way she so freely touched them. I clenched my fist as I thought of how gently, how subtly and how _wonderfully_ her fingertips had glided across my fractured skin, once a beaming alabaster, now a mask of horror and deceit. She had said she wanted me to smile, and now she would never talk to me again. She was the only reason for my smiles, so what reasons have I now? What shall it profit me to smile when there are no genuinely real reasons behind it rather than the memory of what could have been?

I shuddered, broken out of my calmness, and shut off the water. I dressed in a daze, bandaged my hand and sat on my bed afterwards, glancing at my piano. I'd begun writing her a song, and now I couldn't bring myself to even think of finishing it, not when she would never be here to hear it. I sat there for a while longer and then there was a quiet knock at my door. I sighed and stood up, walked over and unlocked the door, opening it to reveal my all-too-warm mother, Esme.

"Edward, are you okay darling?" she cooed and I bit my lip to silence the quivering.

"I'll find a way to be" I answered her and her eyes grew sad.

"Did something happen with Bella?" she asked and I winced visibly. "Do you want to talk about it?" she offered warmly and I shook my head.

"I can't. Not yet. I can't deal with it right at this second" I responded as politely as I could muster with all of my emotions threatening to over crowd my barriers, forcing them to crumble.

"Well, I am always here for you, and so is your father" she said and then glanced between my shattered mirror and my bandaged hand.

"I know, thank you Mum" I said softly and she nodded and turning away. I was in the process of shutting the door when she called me again.

"Oh, Edward" she said, "Alice is coming for a visit next week, she's bringing Emmett and both of their partners. It wouldn't kill you to make an effort this time" she smiled only slightly and then proceeded down the stairs.

Alice and Emmett. My cousins. Coming to stay. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but the way they always stare when they mention their love lives makes me nauseous. I suddenly felt very nauseous now, understanding that I came so close to being in their circle of love-sick people, and having it all ripped away from me because the girl I want to be with can't stand the look or feel of me.

I locked the door, turned off the lights, crawled into bed, and cried.

**A/N: What did you think?**


	9. With Friends like These

**A/N: Chapter number 9!**

Last night had been horrible.

After the whole Edward incident, I'd cried until the early hours of this morning. The sadness, the tiredness and my utter hatred of myself showed clear on my face and I shied away from the broken girl who stared back at me from the mirror.

I threw my hair up into a bun, not caring what people would think of me today. I would be sitting alone again, just as I had before Edward and I became friends. I would solitarily go and sit away from the Cafeteria, because that was what I did before I met Edward. Mostly though, I would shy away from the world and the people in it, because that was what I wanted to do most, even though I had never done that before.

I dressed hurriedly after noticing that my first class started in thirty five minutes. I threw on my clothes and raced downstairs as fast as I could with the certainty of not tripping. I left the house, locked the door, and before I knew it, I was racing down the highway, attempting to not be late for school.

I made it with seconds to spare and my teacher glanced at me with slight disapproval. I shrugged and sat down, preparing myself for the day ahead. I knew I looked terrible, and I especially knew that I _felt_ terrible, but I had to at least pretend that neither of those was true. I dawdled through the motions of the day and when lunch came around, I found myself glad to have a little time to myself, to reflect on myself, and probably cry too.

I walked from my classroom and headed in the general direction of the Cafeteria, look at my feet the entire way. When I could hear the scraping chairs and rowdy noises, I knew I was nearly there so I stepped up my pace. I only realized the stupidity of speed walking and looking down when I smacked into someone. I looked up to apologise and blanched when I saw it was Edward. Of course it was Edward; the universe would not let me off as easy as not seeing him for the entire day. I shifted uncomfortably where I stood and he looked at me with unfathomable sadness and grief. I could feel the tears building in my eyes so I side-stepped around him and went straight to the Cafeteria.

I stood in the line for food for way too long considering all I got was an apple and a small bottle of Mango nectar juice. Once I had the items paid for, I walked swiftly to the glass doors on the other side of the cafeteria, opened them and let myself out into the freshness of the rain, breathing deeply to steady the quivering of my heart so I could make it to my quiet place to break down peacefully. I was momentarily calm, so I made my way across the grounds until I found my quiet place; a leafy tree with pink flowers that shielded the ground from the rain. It was far enough away from the Cafeteria that the rest of the student body couldn't see it, much less hear anything from it. I'd come here with my best friend who left a few years ago, we'd found it when people used to throw things at us. It was our sanctuary, our peace, and now it was my quiet place where I would come to hide my hurt from my world.

I sat down on the dry earth and placed my food in front of me, on my back pack. As soon as I did this was when it started. My breathing became unsteady, tears started rippling from my eyes and a sad cry escaped my lips. When had my life become so dependent on another person? I was sure it wasn't healthy; that was clear by the pain I felt because that other person decided to leave. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs, gripping my left wrist with my right hand to keep them in place. I sat like that for what felt like an immeasurable amount of time and then began to attempt to calm myself when I noticed that I only had ten more minutes of lunch time left, and I couldn't exactly enter class looking like this. Once I had decided I was calmed down enough, I went to the bathroom to check on my appearance. I gasped when I looked into the mirror and saw the epitome of what sadness would look like if it had a physical appearance.

I splashed my face with water and made my way to class. I wanted to run screaming when I realized I had biology, and that Edward was here, and that he shared my desk. I dragged out my walking as much as I could to still get to class on time, and I succeeded by walking in the door just as the final bell rang.

"Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence Miss Swan" Mr Banner said and I nodded, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, especially the person at my desk. As I sat down, I pulled out my books and looked straight to the front of the room, not allowing my eyes to drift even the slightest in any direction. With all of my free thoughts I groaned when I remembered that I had an appointment with Carlisle this afternoon, so that he could check on my burns and the extent of the scarring. I mentally kicked myself for not being prepared for that.

The rest of the day, after Biology, went by smoothly and I found myself almost grateful for the distraction that a hospital visit gave me. I would have been more grateful if it hadn't been Edward's _father_ I was seeing, but I suppose that is the price you have to pay to see the best doctor in town and probably the state.

"Hello Bella" Carlisle said warmly as he entered his office. I'd been sitting there for ten minutes being ransacked by my thoughts and concerned that Carlisle would refuse to treat me now that Edward and I weren't… I couldn't make myself say that we weren't _friends_ because that hurt way too much. I looked up at Carlisle and smiled briefly.

"Hey" my voice broke and that alerted him to something.

"Before I start the examination, I need to talk to you about Edward" he stated as he sat down, facing me with his elbows on his thighs and his hands clasped together and I felt the colour drain from my face.

"Oh" was all I could say.

"I love my son Bella, and he has been very happy over the last few weeks. I've seen him smile and I haven't seen that in almost ten years" I said sadly.

"I know" I choked, "he told me".

"Well, then you must understand my concern. Last night he came home so distressed that he locked himself in his room. He never does that Bella" he pleaded and I was confused.

"I don't understand what you're saying" I voiced my confusion.

"Bella, please reconsider ending your friendship. It hurts him way too much to be without you. If that is truly what you want then I guess that he will have to deal with that. But please Bella, be absolutely sure tha-," he rambled and I cut him off.

"What? Carlisle he left me" I interjected and that abruptly cut off his sentence.

"I beg your pardon?" he eyed me.

"I… well, you see, what happened was," I looked down, blushing furiously.

"Bella, I fail to understand what happened. Please, just be open and honest" he begged and I nodded, biting my lip, no hint of sadness left in me because all the room I had was taken by embarrassment and confusion.

"Well, he told me not to hurt him, because he's starting to trust me" I began and Carlisle nodded, "So, I went outside into the rain where he was, and I sort of… kissed him?" I trailed off into a question and Carlisle's jaw dropped.

"You _kissed_ him?" Carlisle said, mouth agape.

"On his cheek, yes. A few times," I answered and Carlisle blinked in astonishment.

"So, which cheek? What happened?" he seemed as flabbergasted as I felt.

"His right cheek. I smiled at him and went inside because I was freezing, and then I felt really sad for some reason," I said, purposely leaving out the part where I realized I had feelings for his son, "and when I went back outside, he was crying and then he ran away" I said the last part thickly, my voice hindered by the emotion behind the words.

"Did he say anything before he left?" he questioned and I nodded. "What did he say?" he begged again and I sighed, trying to break through the sadness in my throat.

"My name, is all" I responded and that seemed to clear up a few things for Carlisle, but made me question so much more.

"Bella, you need to talk to him. He won't approach you because he thinks you hate him, but you _need_ to talk to him" he implored and I nodded, resigned. "Now," he said, much chirpier, "let's have a look at these burns".

The examination went for a while because Carlisle wanted to be extra thorough and not give me any false hope or dooming news. At the end of it he said he couldn't be sure exactly what the extent of the damage would be because my skin was being unco-operative, but that I should prepare for permanent fixtures where my skin used to be flat. I'd cried when he'd said that, because a new wave of self-hatred and self-pity consumed me, and he comforted me as much as he was allowed to in the confines of the hospital and their guidelines. After I had calmed down, I drove home and sat in the cab of my truck for a while. Eventually, I left the truck and made my way inside, trudging up the stairs, racing inside when I heard the phone ring. I rushed in and slammed the door behind me, picking up the phone as it was on its' final ring.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly into the phone.

"Bella?" was the response and my heart melted happily as I heard the voice I'd missed so much.

"Alice, hey" I smiled and I heard her sigh as well.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm… okay" I replied, not wanting to drag the conversation down, "how are you?"

"You are the worst liar Bella, even on the phone. But I am fantastic, thanks for asking. I have some really good news!" she squealed and I smiled, having missed the noise so much though I found it irritating when she did it too often.

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"I'm coming back to Forks! Not permanently, but for two weeks. Oh Bella, I am so excited I have missed you so much! Emmett and I are coming to visit some cousins who moved there since we left so we can see each other Bella!" she squealed again but I couldn't find it in me to be irritated, because I would be seeing her again.

"That's so amazing Alice, I can't wait" I said, genuinely.

"Me neither, and you can tell me what's bothering you when I see you, but I have to go, I just really wanted to tell you. See you in four days Bella" he said and then hung up the phone.

I was so euphoric about seeing Alice that I had forgotten all about Edward for the moment. Alice and Emmett Brandon were two of my favourite people in the world, and I would be seeing them in four days. _Thanks Universe_, I thought appreciatively, _thank you for giving me a small ticket out of this pain_. I was so happy with the news that I skipped to my truck and sat in the cab and it wasn't until I put my key in the ignition that I realized I was wanting to go and find Edward, to tell him to prepare to meet Alice and Emmett.

With that realization came the crippling pain again, and I had to force myself to breathe.

**A/N: Yay! Another long update, I don't know if I can make them this long continuously because I have Uni (Australian Version of College) all the time but I can attempt it Reviews?**


	10. The beastly beauty of suprises

**A/N: Chapter ten! WHOA. Here goes **

EPOV

Another day at school, another day where Bella didn't speak to me, though it looked like she wanted to. Carlisle said he'd spoken to her and I told him that he shouldn't have, to let her ignore me in peace, but he said that his intentions were good and that she took them on board much more than gracefully.

Alice and Emmett were due to arrive tomorrow, so today my mother had me setting up the guest rooms on the second level of our house. When I'd questioned her on the fact that we were only setting up two rooms for the four of them, she'd just said, "Edward, they're as old as you are. They should be mature enough to spend the time with their partners without… You know" and then she'd smiled and continued fluffing the pillows.

After we finished the rooms, I'd retreated to mine. I sat down at my piano and mournfully stroked the keys. I hadn't played in days and I knew that if I started now I would continue to write that wretched song that would never grace the ears it was meant for. I shook my head, frustrated and slammed the lid back over it, running my hands through my hair to rid some of my built up anger. I pushed myself away from the piano and threw myself on to my bed, picking up the first book that touched my hand between them.

I laid there reading _Maximum Ride; Max_ and marvelled at how James Patterson could turn a supernatural freak into a being capable of love. I also noticed how Fang and Max had been friends for so long before they became lovers, and that he left her eventually. Of course he did, love could never last if one was a beauty and the other was the beast. That thought led me to a dark part of myself, where I wanted to see the contrast between Bella and me so tangibly, that it would rip my heart apart and create a bigger rift in our distinction. I shut the book fiercely and ran downstairs to the lounge room.

"Edward dear, is that you?" Esme called and I called back a _yes_ in response.

I sat down in front of the television and flicked through the movie selection we had. My selections currently were _Beauty and the Beast_ and the one that hit most close to home; _Pay it forward_. Not that Bella was a prostitute or anything, but more the fact that he was burned so much and he thought she wanted to be with him, and then it all turned to crap. I switched off the movie before they could get reunited because I didn't want to see the happy burn victim and his beautiful partner. I sat through the movies in my reverie, analysing the way the beast moved around the beauty, noticing how she was afraid of him, and of course the fact that the beauties name was _Bell_ didn't skip my notice either. I shut off the television once the movies were done and I sat in the lounge room for a long time, hating who I was, hating how I looked and more importantly, hating how much I wished Bella didn't think the same. I decided to remove myself from the hateful atmosphere when I felt tears dripping down my cheeks. Disgusted with my emotions, I went outside and walked as far as I could until I reached the stream that sat just a small way from the house.

It seemed like forever that I sat there; pondering life and the reasons I continued to participate in it. I found it exceedingly difficult to pinpoint anything other than my family and Bella that was keeping me alive. I've known for ten years that I would be alone, but I never thought at all that I would be _lonely_. I'd never needed anyone, I'd been find existing with my family, I'd never seen anyone in particular that would make me change that, until I'd met Bella. I was beginning to fall in love with everything about her. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled, the way she bit her lip and the way she studied me when I was quiet. She was the epitome of beauty and perfection and I wished so fervently that I was able to tell her that myself. I would never get the chance though, she would never speak to me again, and I would be lonely, as always.

The sound of a stick snapping behind me pulled me out of my self-pity bubble.

"Edward, are you okay son?" I heard my father's voice ask as it came closer.

"Yeah" I said and tensed when I heard that I sounded sad, broken.

"With this Bella thing… she's going to talk to you" he said and I looked at him and all at once, his expression softened even further.

"How would you know?" I whispered desperately and he smiled at me.

"Because she told me she would, that she wanted to" he responded and I felt a glimmer of hope beat in time with my heavy heart.

"When?" I asked.

"Three days ago at her appointment" he answered without skipping a beat. I nodded, feeling less sad, but also scared that she had lied to keep him happy. "You need to trust her son, she's a wonderful girl, and she cherishes you so much. Funnily enough she thinks _you_ hate_ her!" _he quietly chuckled and I stood up, staring at him, dumbfounded.

"What?" I begged of him and he nodded. I raced past him, into the house only to find a pile of luggage at the front door.

"Surprise!" I heard behind me and I flinched as I recognised the voice. I turned slowly, composing my face into a smile.

"Emmett" I said and extended my hand towards my giant, bear-like cousin. He laughed boisterously and threw his arms around me. I gingerly lifted a hand and patter him on the back.

"Good to see you Edward! This is Rosalie, my lady" he smiled and gestured to the pretty blonde who stood beside him. She smiled gently at me and held out her hand as an offering and I smiled at her, a small, grateful smile. I took her hand and shook it.

"It is lovely to meet you" I said and she nodded. That was when I heard the squealing.

"Edward!" my infinitely smaller cousin, Alice screamed and ran down the stairs and jumped at me. Alice and I had always been the closest out of the cousins, because Emmett had always had other friends when we hadn't. She flung her arms around me and I gently hugged her back. "I've missed you so much" she said in a small voice.

"I've missed you too" I spoke back and she unwound herself from me.

"This is Jasper" she said proudly, pointing at the tall, sandy-blonde male who I hadn't noticed slowly descend the stairs after her. Jasper shocked me. He held out a scarred hand, his sleeve rolling up revealing a scarred arm. I stared at him in shock and he just smiled.

"Alice said we had some stuff in common. I didn't think she's mean this" he smiled regretfully and I was overcome with gratefulness at the fact that I wasn't the only one who was disfigured, but I was still the only one who was alone. I shook Jaspers hand and smiled at him, not a happy smile, but an empathetic smile.

I looked over at Alice and she was on her phone, talking excitedly. She removed the phone from her ear and called out to my mother.

"Aunty Esme, would it be okay if a friend of mine came over? I haven't seen her in so long and we miss each other so much" she tacked on the grovelling and my mother's happy voice resounded from the kitchen.

"Of course! I was about to get started on dinner. She can stay for that if she'd like," she offered and Alice squealed again, talking quickly into the phone, telling the stranger the directions to my house.

"You have friends here?" I asked, once she hung up.

"Just one" she smiled and then picked up the rest of her things and went upstairs.

Twenty minutes later the doorbell sounded and Esme asked me to answer it. I made my way over to the door and swung it open. I froze where I stood and stared, face shocked as I stared at our guest. She looked so incredibly beautiful and wonderful, and her face looked at me in the exact same way.

"Bella!" I heard Alice squeal from behind me.

**A/N: What did you think!**


	11. The stream of sobs

**A/N: I HAVE HORRIBLE NEWS. I probably won't be updating in the next few days (From tomorrow until Sunday D: ) I am going to try as hard as I can to update, as in, taking my laptop with me everywhere, but I am not making any promises okay? So, as asked for, this is update number 2 for today, and possibly the last until next week.**

**DON'T LOSE HOPE! I will not forget about this story. I am currently too attached to the character personalities and I am attached to you guys, so of course I am not going to stop writing it. And I promise also to start the regular updates again. If I don't update by Monday lunch time, I want you all to tweet me okay? If you have twitter just be like OI BEE WHAT IS GOING ON? My twitter is bleex_ and I am able to reach that 24/7. Also- if you guys have any questions I am more than happy to answer them on there. I also love to just chat to people **

**Don't give up on me or the story? I am going to try and update okay? I will TRY but I won't make a promise to do so over the next few days. But here we go- a long update to get you through!**

BPOV

Had I gotten lost and driven for twenty minutes to end up at the wrong house? The house which also happened to be the _right_ house for all sorts of different reasons. The most perfect person in the world was standing in the open door way, staring back at me with relief clear as the light I stood on painted all over his face. My heart thudded unevenly and I felt happy tears brewing in my tear ducts and I breathed shallowly. I was so _happy_ to see him, so happy in fact that I didn't even notice the people behind him, one of which was screaming my name.

"Bella! Bella, Bella, Bella, oh Bella I am so happy you're here!" the sound of Alice squealing ripped my attention away from Edward, and I felt a small amount of chagrin towards her, my only friend before I'd met Edward. I smiled at her and side stepped around Edward, careful to make a brief amount of eye contact and mime the words 'we need to talk'. He nodded and smiled slightly and I felt my entire being burst into flames due to the utter euphoria I felt.

"Alice, hey" I said, sounding too enthusiastic, but knowing that my enthusiasm was just leaking out of the happiness I felt about Edward, and the amazing feeling I felt about seeing Alice again. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her and she hugged me a little too tight, causing friction on my burns. I yelped quietly and pulled away, a blush shading my face. I felt Edward behind me, holding my arm to steady me, because he knew I had a tendency to end up on the floor when pain hit me.

"Bella, what did I do?" Alice asked, looking as if she felt terrible.

"Don't worry about it Alice, really" I breathed and she seemed to relax a little.

"Did you hurt yourself again? Classic Bella" said a big, burly looking guy who I instantly recognized as Alice's brother, Emmett.

"Hey Emmett, and yeah. I had an accident when making dinner" I tried to joke but it came out sounding sad. I noticed Alice's head cock to the side and she walked over to me.

"We should talk" she murmured, and I nodded. I followed her up the stairs, turning and thanking Edward and had him nod in return. She walked up to the second floor of the house and I was continuously stopping on the way up the stairs, to stare at the photos that donned the walls. The one that I had trouble taking my eyes away from was one of an obviously very-young Edward, smiling a massive, toothy grin, sitting at a giant, grand piano. The fact that he was smiling wasn't even the thing that had me gawking, although I attempted to imagine him that way now, and I found it very difficult. No, the thing that kept me rooted in my place wasn't the smile, or the age of him, it was that he was smiling at me from the photo, his face unmarked by the burns that now occupied it.

I felt tears prickling again, but this time they were mourning tears for the happy little boy who looked like he had everything he would ever need while sitting at that huge piano.

"Bella" Alice called impatiently and I nodded and pulled myself away from the picture. I walked into the room she'd walked into minutes beforehand and she sat on the bed in the same position she used to sit in when she wanted me to tell her something. I slowly closed the door, almost unwilling to be in this situation even though I knew what she wanted to know.

"So…" I started the ball rolling and she looked at me almost appreciatively.

"What have you done to yourself Bella?" she eyed me sceptically and I bit my lip before telling her to close her eyes. "I don't understand why this is necessary" she huffed as her eyes were shut and I removed my clothing until I was just in my underwear.

"Okay" I whispered, "open your eyes".

When she did, her eyes didn't just open to their normal size, but widened to a point that could have been classed as unhealthy. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hand flew up to cover her gaping mouth that had let out a loud gasp.

"Bella… when you said accident, I thought you'd accidently cut yourself with a knife, I didn't think you meant-" I cut her off.

"Dropping a pot of boiling water on myself? Yeah, I didn't think you would guess that. Classic Bella right?" I tried to joke and then it all came crashing down on me. The emotions that I had been hiding from everyone else came bursting through the flood gates I kept them behind and I fell to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong?" Alice hurried over to me to wrap her tiny arms around my shaking, nearly naked form.

"Look at me Alice" I whimpered, "no one could ever love something like this. Who would? I'm hideous even to myself" I whaled and she rubbed soothing circles on my arms while whispering that I was okay, it would all be okay.

"You are not hideous Bella" she comforted and that brought on another round of sobbing because I knew that she would say that, she had to, she was my best friend.

"Yes I am. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore without breaking down and being filled with hate at what I see. I can't even wear shorts Alice, not that it's ever the weather for it but the choice to wear that has been taken away from me. No one will ever want to be with _this_" I cried and then stopped abruptly when I realized that I had just done exactly what Edward always did. I'd referred to my burns as 'this' rather than 'burns'. I had gestured to myself and referred to the way I looked as 'this' in such a harsh negative light that it caught me off guard and my heart sank. I knew what Edward must feel, I only felt it to a certain degree I knew, but I knew he felt it too, so much more intensely than I did and that knowledge made it hard to breathe. He shouldn't feel like this, he should know the overwhelming hatred I felt. I couldn't think of him hating himself when I felt for him in such a way that his entirety was loveable.

"Someone will love you. Trust me, scars or no scars, skin isn't what makes a person beautiful.It's their heart and their personality that make them beautiful Bella and you have one of the most pure of both that I have ever seen. Here," she said, standing up and giving me a dress out of her things, "put this on, I'll be right back".

Alice dashed from the room and I put on the dress. A few minutes later a soft knock was on the door and Alice's quiet voice flowed through it.

"Are you dressed Bella?" she asked.

"Yeah" I responded in an equally quiet voice. She opened the door and stepped through it, her hand extended to hold the hand of a guy I vaguely remembered seeing downstairs.

"This is Jasper" she said fondly, "my boyfriend" she beamed and I smiled despite my reverie.

"Nice to meet you" I said, almost hurt that she would be rubbing in that she had someone.

I looked away and began playing with the hem of the dress, quietly humming to myself, no tune in particular. I heard a slight ruffling and then Alice's voice broke my concentration.

"Look Bella," she said I looked up, gasping. Jasper had taken off his button up shirt and jacket to reveal a singlet. What shocked me was that from his left fingertips, all the way up him arm, all the way across his chest and down to the middle of his right bicep were scars. He looked at Alice and she nodded and he lifted up the bottom of his shirt to reveal that the scars continued down to just above his naval. I also noticed that he had a few scars on his neck and that one or two encroached on his jaw line. I stared at him, mouth agape and he smiled politely at me.

"A dog attacked me when I was nine years old" he explained and I cringed as I thought of how much his torn up skin would have hurt.

"Oh" was all I could manage and then Alice leaned over and kissed his left shoulder.

"See Bella" she began, "skin doesn't matter in what makes a person beautiful if you love them. I promise" she smiled and then kissed Jasper gently on the lips before gesturing for him to leave. He put his shirt and jacket back on and dipped his head in farewell, before exiting the room.

I felt like I was going into shock.

"Wow" was my opening line and Alice giggled.

"I'm telling you Bella, someone will love you exactly the way you are. I mean, did you see my cousin Edward downstairs? I could go get him to talk to you about scars, but he's never interacted with other people so I guess that would be weird…" she muttered to herself and I shook my head.

"Wait, what?" I asked and she eyed me curiously.

"My cousin Edward has scars too" she said and I shook my head again.

"No, about the interaction thing" I clarified and she nodded in understanding.

"Oh right, sorry" she smiled sheepishly. "I don't know why, but ever since he… well he doesn't like me saying what happened so I'll skip that part. Ever since it happened, he just shut himself off. It's like the world died to him the day that he became like that. I mean, he always spoke to Emmett and me, but it was weird because he wouldn't even speak to his own _parents_. He's never had a friend, so he can cross getting married off the list for the next few years" she rambled, rolling her eyes. I suddenly felt a spike of clarity in the way that he always seemed to not know how to respond when I treated him the way a friend should.

"That's so sad" I mumbled and she nodded.

"Yeah, it'd be good for him to get to know some new people. Would you like me to introduce the two of you?" she offered and I couldn't stop the hesitant laugh that burst from me. "What?" she asked as if I had insulted her.

"I'm sorry Alice, but I already know Edward" I smiled and she nodded.

"That would make sense, seeing as he goes to school here. But I mean, I would really love it for you two to be friends" she pleaded and I laughed again.

"We _are_ friends Alice" I sighed sadly at the loose title and she noticed that.

"You like him" she gasped accusingly and I launched forward to silence her with my finger.

"_Alice_" I hissed and she slapped her hand over her mouth.

"But Bella that is so exciting" she whispered excitedly and I was suddenly hyper aware of the fact that people may be able to hear us.

"I've only just realized it and Edward and I are currently not on speaking terms so please, _please_ be quiet about it… _Please_" I begged and she sighed, annoyed.

"Fine, but you need to talk to him again" she declared and I rolled my eyes.

"I know" I said and she laughed, reaching out and hugging me more gently than she had before.

"I have really missed you Bella" she sighed happily and I gratefully returned the hug.

We spent another hour in her room catching up and before long we were called to dinner. I walked downstairs behind Alice and stopped when I heard a piano being played above us.

"What's that?" I breathed, getting lost in the beauty of the melody I had never heard before.

"It's on the third floor. Go have a look" she smiled and then skipped downstairs. I did as she said and went up to the third floor. The sound got louder as I approached a door and I quietly turned the handle, cracking the door open just a fraction and peered inside. This was a bedroom and I felt bad for intruding, but I could take my ears away from the sound that was coming from inside. I opened the door a little more and I stared blankly when I saw Edward playing skilfully on the same grand piano from the picture before, and I blanched when I realized this must be his room.

I leaned more against the door and it squeaked slightly and Edward stopped playing very abruptly. He swivelled very quickly on his seat, looking angry and deep in thought. His expressions softened when he saw it was me that had interrupted him.

"Hey" I whispered and my heart rate increased. He stood up, running a hand through his hair, tussling it into even further disarray.

"Hey" he breathed back and that was what triggered it. Just like before when I'd been talking to Alice, I broken down; only this time I didn't fall to the floor. I rushed forward and crushed myself against him, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. Seconds later, his arms cocooned me and made me safer to cry.

He held me like that for a long time, swaying softly side to side, putting his face against my hair every now and again and eventually, my tears began to stop and I began to calm down. When I was finally calm enough to stand on my own, he held me at arms-length; only this time I didn't just stand there, I had my arms up and my hands were wrapped around his wrists.

"Are you okay?" he asked me almost too gently. I gave him a half-nod, not sure if I could trust my voice. "Are you sure?" he prodded and I deliberated on whether or not I would use my voice.

"I think so, thank you" I finally murmured and his eyes turned sad. "Please, don't give me that look" I whispered and that threw him for a minute.

"What look?" he asked and I looked down, shying away from his scrutinizing gaze.

"That one. It looks like pity, but I don't want it. Just, please don't" I mumbled and I heard him start to chuckle. My eyes widened and I looked up to see him truly laughing, and his smile was bigger than I had ever seen it.

"Oh, Bella, I _so_ trust you" he laughed again and then pulled me in to hug him tightly. I was extremely confused by the turn of the conversation, but I was content in listening to his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled.

"Hm?" he said, sounding detached.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you these last few days. Isn't it funny that I thought you hated me? Carlisle told me you didn't and I've been trying to talk to you, but I am such a freaking coward and I-" he cut of my rambling with a sigh.

"In future, please just talk to me? I much prefer that over the distance" he said and I felt my stomach flutter as if it were filled with a million tiny butterflies. "Deal?" he asked and I smiled.

"Deal".

**A/N: I KNOW YOU MUST HATE ME NOW BUUUUUT-… Guess who has a sequel plaaaaanned? ME. So, once this story is finished, I plan on having a sequel, so please, like I said prior to horribly teasing you with the end of this chapter, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE. This is going somewhere exciting… Stayyy tuned 3**

**Review? x**


	12. Jelly and Rain

**A/N: I said I would try and here I am! :D **

It was amazing to be able to be around Edward again. After a few more minutes of hugging one another, we decided it was time to grace the others with our presence.

"I'll go first" he chuckled and I grimaced, wanting desperately to not make an awkward grand entrance.

He left the room and retreated to the noisy dining room where I was guessing everyone was. I followed a few minutes later and was greeted by a room that had almost everyone in it.

"Hello dear, I'm Esme, and you must be Alice's friend" she smiled and I nodded, about to say my name when someone interrupted me.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, surprised as he entered the room, completing the family.

"Bella? As in Edward's friend Bella?" Esme asked me and I nodded.

"I seem to be quite popular with your family" I mumbled and then was instantly embarrassed. My cheeks turned a bright red and I hurriedly sat down in the empty seat between Edward and Alice.

"Yes! The blush returns" Emmett crowed and I shot him a glare.

"Don't be mean, Emmett" chastised an amazingly beautiful blond, sitting in the seat next to him. "Hello," she smiled at me delicately, "My name is Rosalie. I speak for the big oaf over here" she introduced herself while giggling and jerking her thumb towards Emmett whose face was morphed into a pout. I giggled slightly as well and out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward smile. It wasn't the nearly full smile I'd seen earlier, not even close; it was a small, content smile.

"I'm Bella… as has been previously stated about a million times" I responded, blushing again. Emmett snickered and Rosalie smacked the back of his head. He muttered an apology and then began to plough into the giant plate of food that sat in front of him.

"So, Bella" Esme caught my attention and I turned to her.

"Yes?"

"Had Edward had a chance to show you his piano skills?" she asked kindly and Edward dropped his fork.

"Really Mum? _Really?_" he asked, exasperated and I smiled, gently nudging him with my elbow and he gently nudged me back.

"Not intentionally" I smiled and she seemed confused.

"Oh?" she probed and I giggled slightly.

"I walked in on him playing it before. He's very good" I complimented and nudged him again to which he responded once more with a nudge. I glanced over to see Carlisle at the head of the table, smiling fondly at both Edward and I and a warm feeling spread through me as I thought of the world I had just entered; a world where people invite their nieces friends over for dinner and they embarrass their children in an effort to be loving. I was extremely uplifted by the thought of this, but the nagging at the back of my mind told me I would never fully belong to this family, that I would never be beautiful enough to be considered a daughter here. I sighed sadly as that small part grew in size and in viciousness. Edward and Alice both turned and looked at me and I blushed again, wanting to sink into invisibility.

The evening's embarrassments had morphed into friendly conversation and we all ate together peacefully. Esme asked me questions and I answered, and Carlisle would smile in my direction every so often and Edward and Alice were both glued to every word that came out of my mouth. After dinner was finished, Esme rushed to the kitchen and brought out eight cups of jelly and ice-cream and suddenly everyone acted as if they were seven years old again and excitedly ate the cup and smiled and laughed until it was gone.

Another hour passed after that and I began to yawn. I announced that I would be going home and I was met by the uproar of seven disagreements.

"No, don't go. Stay the night; I'm sure it'd be fine!" Alice begged and then turned the full force of her puppy dog eyes on me.

"I'd have nowhere to sleep Al, sorry, maybe next time?" I suggested and she pouted and gave a light grunt. I stood up and said goodbye to everyone and made my way to the door. I was about to open the door when a hand tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around the see Edward smiling at me, almost as wide as he had before. I smiled back at him and leant my back against the door behind me.

"Hello" he smiled and I returned in genuinely.

"Hello" I mimicked.

"I am sad that you are leaving, Bella. Are you sure you won't stay?" he asked and I felt my heartbeat accelerate to an unhealthy speed I was sure.

"I can't. I have to get home anyway and get some actual sleep. Alice wants to hang out tomorrow and she really knows how to tire someone out" I laughed gently and I nodded.

"True that. Well, have a good sleep with happy dreams. Drive safely please" he pleaded and I nodded and gave him a quick smile before turning and opening the door. I walked out onto the porch and down the stairs into the rain. As I was halfway to my truck I felt a hand grab my wrist and spin me around.

"Did I forget something?" I asked, confused. Edward just smiled at me and shook his head, and he looked incredibly nervous.

"No, I did" he said and I rose my eyebrow, unsure what he meant.

"You live here" I murmured and he chuckled.

"Yes, I do" he answered and my confusion was maddening.

"So, what did you forget?" I asked and he visibly gulped.

"I, um…" he couldn't speak and my heart began to pound.

"What Edward?" I whispered, and he looked at me with a gaze I was sure would smoulder me.

"I forgot to do something" he whispered back and I could feel electricity in the air.

He took a step closer to me and I took one step closer to him. He was so close that I could almost feel his shirt against my chest. My heart was pounding in my ears and he was biting his lip. I swallowed loudly and looked up at him.

"And what was that?" I asked him, trying to make my voice sound even when my insides were twisting themselves into unidentifiable knots.

"This" he said and then he bent down to my level and moved his face closer to mine, inch by inch, my heart tracing. Finally, when our faces were close enough to touch, he closed the gap and planted a soft kiss.

On my cheek.

**A/N: I know you must hate me but I can't let them get together yet!**


	13. Questions and Corners

**A/N: It turns I am really good at this 'trying to update' thing :D**

To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement of the colossal category. However, to say that I wasn't elated beyond measure would also be that big of an understatement. His lips lingered oh so softly of my cheek and then he placed three more caressing kisses there. I sighed happily and he pulled back, smiling slightly.

"Was that okay?" he asked me, sounding worried.

I smiled back at him and leaned towards him. I slid my arms around him and sighed against his chest.

"Yes," I mumbled, "Very much okay". I felt him relax and then he hugged me back.

Once I started shivering from the cold of the rain, Edward gently unwound my arms from around him and walked me the rest of the way to my truck. Once I was in and driving away, he waved at me and I smiled at him through the windshield. I drove back to my house in a peaceful daze and when I got in the shower, I realized that I was still wearing Alice's dress and made a mental note to return it to her tomorrow. I also realized how cold I actually was. I was shivering violently at the temperature change from icy-cold to searing warmth. The pain on my burns showed itself too but I was too happy to notice. I put my hand on my cheek where he'd kissed it and closed my eyes, thinking of him again.

I spent a long time in the shower because my shivers wouldn't calm down and the steam was calming my heart rate. When I was eventually warm enough to not shake when I moved, I switched off the water and dressed into warm clothing. Once I was in bed, I took a deep breath and smiled before drifting off into a peaceful, wonderful sleep.

When I woke up, it was Sunday and I knew that today would be great. I was seeing Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward. As I thought of seeing Edward I felt happy again, but now the happiness was dulled slightly by the little voice that loved to ruin my life. _He'll never want you_, it said, _not even he could love something like you_. I ignored her for now, not wanting to ruin my euphoric mood. I dressed quickly, humming to myself. Charlie must've noticed my good mood because when he walked passed my room he commented on it.

"You seem chipper this morning" he smiled, happy that I wasn't moping anymore.

"I am. Alice and Emmett are in town so I am going over to the Cullen's" I replied and he looked baffled.

"Why would you go to the Cullen's house if Alice and Emmett are here? Don't you want to see them?" He asked and I laughed, forgiving him for not making the connection.

"I _am_ seeing them Dad," I chuckled, "Alice and Emmett are Edward's cousins" I smiled and he looked as though I light bulb sprung out above his head.

"Oh, very good then. Have fun kiddo" he smiled and then went downstairs. I did my hair into an easy ponytail and then proceeded to walk downstairs also.

"Bye Dad" I called from the door and ran out of my truck. I got in and excitedly turned the key in the ignition. The truck rumbled to life and I drove as fast I was allowed out to Edward's house, having less difficulty than I had yesterday while trying to get there.

Once I'd made it through all of the twists and turns and random pathways, the breathtaking house came into view. I hadn't realized the full beauty of it last night. The tall house was white with brown shudders on the windows and the porch had a brown railing. The windows we tinted and the roof was a brown that was a shade darker than the shudders and rails. I sat in my truck just staring in awe and the wonderful creation before me. I was completely dazed to the point where I didn't notice Alice standing next to the truck until she tapped on the window, causing me to jump too high and hit my head on the roof.

Alice's musical laughter filled my ears and I glared at her.

"I really have missed you my clumsy Bella" she giggled as she opened the door and helped me out as I rubbed my head. She gave me a soft hug and then took my hand and tugged me towards the mansion I had been fantasizing about such minutes before.

As we entered the door, I was greeted by Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett moved out of the welcoming party to lift me up in a huge bear hug but he managed to manoeuvre it in such a way that my burns weren't affected. I was grateful to him for that. Once he put me down I was able to catch my breath and gently hug Rosalie back when she gingerly wrapped her arms around me. Jasper was next to hug me and his was more meaningful, as if he knew about the voice in the back of my head that wouldn't let me believe I would be anything but damaged to anyone. I smiled at him gratefully when he separated and he nodded, a serious look in his eyes. I questioned him silently and he shook his head, miming that he would talk to me later.

After the greetings were over with my friends, Esme walked over to hug me and when she did she gave a gentle squeeze. Once she let go of me, Carlisle nodded at me and smiled.

"Welcome back, Bella" he smiled, "Do you mind coming with me for a moment?" he asked and I complied, confused. I followed him as he exited the room and turned to ask my friends where we were going but they all shrugged, including Esme. Alice though, looked as though she knew exactly what was happening. Finally, we veered around a corner and Carlisle took a few silent steps and then turned to face me.

"So, what's up?" I asked and Carlisle looked serene.

"Alice told me something…" he mentioned and I gawked at him.

"Told you what exactly?" I asked, fretting that she had told him the hugest part of what I told her.

"About you hating yourself because of your scars and burns" he mentioned sadly.

"Oh" I said, looking down, relief flooding through me at the fact that he didn't know that I was falling in love with his son.

"Bella, I don't want you to hate yourself" he said and I shrugged.

"Can't help it" I mumbled, feeling the shame and sadness creep over me as it always did when I was in this sort of conversation; which seemed to be a lot lately.

"Why do you hate yourself?" he asked and I looked at him. No-one had ever asked that, so I had no idea how to respond.

The more I thought about it, the more I knew the answer was one that I'd been giving recently to a different question.

"I'm clumsy" I muttered and a tear slid down my cheek.

"Come again?" Carlisle probed, looking wildly confused.

"I hate myself because I am clumsy. If I wasn't clumsy I wouldn't have dropped the water on myself, I wouldn't have re-hurt my thighs too many times to count and I wouldn't have pre-existing scars" I rambled and then cut myself off, not wanting to entice the voice in my head into feeling like it had permission to butcher me. "If I wasn't clumsy…" I mumbled, my lip trembling and then I changed my mind. "Don't worry".

"No please Bella, go on" Carlisle said, sadness in his voice.

"If I wasn't clumsy, I would be able to picture getting married and having babies. But since I burnt myself, I haven't been able to picture it" I mumbled again.

"Why do you think that is?" he asked and I looked at him, tears clouding my gaze as I spoke the words I had been thinking and barely speaking out loud.

"Because no one would be able to love me… not like that" I whimpered, staring at him.

"Like what Bella?" he asked and I was frustrated that he didn't seem to understand.

"Like a husband loves his wife. No one could ever love me in any way that isn't friendship" I said, my heart twisting sadly. I had been in such a good mood before and now I just wanted to cry my heart out again.

"I can tell you this Bella…" Carlisle said, "I hope you're wrong. You have to be. You and Edward both have this affliction in common and I don't want either of you to live your lives alone" he spoke matter-of-factly and I sighed, hearing his words with clear ears. I wouldn't let Edward live his life alone, but would he feel the same about me?

_No,_ I decided, _no he couldn't. Not even him._

EPOV

I heard a knock on my door and I put down my music sheets. I was in the final stages of the song I'd written for Bella and now I was just putting pen to paper. I stood up and went to the door, not sure what time it was. I glanced behind me at the clock and gasped when I saw it was 11:30am. Bella should be here. I hoped it was her at the door.

I opened the door to find Alice standing there looking distressed.

"I did something bad" she mumbled and I cocked my head to the side. "You know how you are really good at eaves dropping?" she asked and I nodded slowly, not sure if I wanted to commit to anything here. "Could you please spy on Bella and Uncle Carlisle and see if he saying anything bad?" she asked and I widened my eyes.

"What did you do Alice?" I whispered fiercely and she stepped back, arms raised in surrender.

"Just do it, please" she said and then ran down the stairs.

I went down the stairs shortly after Alice left my room and silently stood against a wall as I could hear Bella and my father around the corner from it.

"Why do you hate yourself?" he asked her and I became very interested. Bella hated herself?

"I'm clumsy" I heard her mumble and I was very confused.

I heard Carlisle question her and when she answered it broke my heart. She was upset because she didn't think anyone could love her. She didn't think she would ever be able to get married and have children because she thought nobody could ever love her in the way that was required for those things. My heart fractured slightly for the broken angel around the corner; the most beautiful creature alive whose heart was broken by hatred for herself. I heard footsteps come my way and I was about to run away when I saw Bella round the corner, her face pained. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me.

"Did you hear all of that?" she whispered, sounding scared.

"Most of it" I mumbled and walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Edward" she whispered and I looked down at her and her eyes were resigned.

"Yes?" I asked, expecting more questions on my eaves dropping. What she actually asked though, I did not at all want her to ask me.

"How… How did you get your scars?"

**A/N: So, reviews?**


	14. A Nauseous Epiphany

**A/N: Chapter 14! How exciting!**

He looked at me for an immeasurable moment.

"Please don't ask me that" he whispered, a tear in his voice.

"Why not?" I asked, slightly frustrated.

"Because I don't want you to know" he mumbled and I untangled myself from his arms and stepped back.

"Why not?" I asked again, more rudely this time. He sighed and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Don't be melodramatic please, Bella" he said, exasperated.

"I'm not" I said stiffly and he rolled his eyes and began to turn around and head for the stairs.

"Okay" he muttered sarcastically.

"Hey!" I yelled and he stopped and spun around with a sigh. "I think I deserve to know".

"I don't" he shrugged and then began to walk upstairs. I couldn't understand why he was being like this; I couldn't understand why he was being so rude about it. It was a simple question to which I wanted to know a simple answer. I flew up the stairs and rounded around to stand in front of him.

"Why are you so stubborn?" he asked rhetorically, visibly annoyed.

"I'm only as stubborn as you are" I rebuked and he grimaced.

"It's my story Bella" he hissed and I gaped at him.

"So why don't you tell it to me?" I asked, softly this time.

"Because Bella, not all stories have happy endings. Not this one" he finalised and walked around me and up to the third floor. I stood after him, not understanding why he wouldn't tell me, but at the same time knowing he might never end up letting me in. The thought frustrated me and I stomped up to the room in which I knew Alice was staying.

I threw the door open and slammed it behind me and slid down it until I was sitting on the ground. Alice wasn't in the room and I looked around to see that she had decorated it. The grand duchess that sat against the wall was covered in her belongings and knick knacks. The room oozed with the look of Alice and I smiled slightly, having missed it so terribly.

I sat there seething for another few minutes and then I noticed that there was another room attached to this one. Steam came out of under the door and I heard the sound of water rushing through pipes. It was a bathroom and shortly after I noticed it, Alice opened the door and walked out towel drying her hair.

"Bella?" she seemed surprised to find me in her room.

"Hey Al" I tried to smile and she rolled her eyes.

"How'd it go with Uncle Carlisle?" she bit her lip and seemed hesitant to ask.

"It wasn't an overly joyous conversation" I said and took a second to glare at her. She blushed apologetically and I instantly forgave her.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I was just talking to him about you and then it sort of slipped out" she defended and I nodded, having known the horrors of accidental speaking.

"It's okay, I just wish Edward hadn't heard it" I mumbled and looked down, blushing. It was true; I hadn't wanted him to know the twisted inner working of my mind, but his response had been nothing but lovely in the way he had just simply hugged me. That is, until he turned all Harry Houdini on me.

"Oh?" She said a little too nonchalantly and I glared at her.

"You asked him to spy didn't you?" I accused, knowing full well that Alice had a knack for getting people to spy on others for her, using her intense skills of persuasion.

"I wanted to know what your response was… and what Uncle Carlisle was saying to you" she confessed and my anger dulled down to a level of muteness that I didn't even want to comprehend.

"Well… Edward isn't talking to me right now" I mumbled and she shot me a confused look.

"Was it something that happened in the conversation?" she asked, floundering.

"No… it happened after" I bit my lip trying to shy away from her scrutinizing glance.

"What happened, Bella?" Alice asked, watching every move my face made.

"I asked him" I replied and she cocked her head to the side.

"Asked him _what?_"

There was a moment of infinite silence. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, and the majority of me was hoping Alice could enlighten me on the entire Edward situation.

"What happened to him… I asked him what happened to him… his scars I mean" I trailed off and looked away from her, not wanting to know what her reaction was. Apparently, she was livid.

"Are you _insane_ Bella!" she shrieked and I cringed and huddled myself closer to the door I was leaning on. Alice was pacing, throwing her arms around in erratic movements.

"I thought it was a valid question".

"That may be so but Bella; he doesn't _want_ to talk about that. I'm pretty sure he hasn't even dealt with it himself. It wasn't a normal thing like dropping hot water on yourself, or being in a house fire, it was nothing like that Bella. You can't just ask him what happened; he has to tell you himself" she rambled on angrily for quite a long time.

"Okay I get it, Alice" I huffed and she stopped dead on her tracks to glare at me.

"I don't think you do. What happened to him is something I can't even picture. Do you really wish for him to open up about something so _horrific_? Why do you want him to relive that just to curb your curiosity?" she rambled again and I suddenly felt very guilty. The way Alice was putting it made it sound like something so much worse than what had happened to me, yet I shied away from what did happen to me. I suddenly understood why everyone was so reluctant to talk about what happened to Edward, and my guilt made me very nauseated.

"Is that a bathroom in there?" I clarified and Alice stared at me.

"In the middle of this conversation you have to use the bathroom? Really, Bella?" she sighed, annoyed.

"Is it?" I said, trying to minimise the amount my mouth was open.

"Yes".

With the confirmation, I bolted to the bathroom and threw myself over the toilet bowl, hurling anything that I had consumed recently, out of my body and into the water in the bowl.

"Bella?" Alice called as she ran into the bathroom. "Bella, are you sick? Would you like me to get my uncle?" she fussed and I was about to protest when another bout came over me.

After another five minutes of that, I was crumpled up on the floor with my cheek pressed against the cold tiles, trying to catch my breath.

"Bella, what was that?" Alice asked idly as she sat beside me, rubbing my arm.

"I don't know, just thinking about what Edward may have had to go through made me so guilty, I just needed to.. Well, you know" I pointed to the toilet and she pursed her lips.

"You really like him don't you?" she spoke and I was very confused at the turn of events. "I mean, you wouldn't be feeling so sick about it if you didn't care for him so intensely. It's nice to see someone love him so much" she smiled and I gaped at her.

"Love? Who said anything about _love_?" she said and sat up to be level with her.

"Isn't it obvious Bella?" she giggled, "you love him" she repeated and I felt a strange, warm feeling spread in my stomach as I thought about that. Did I like Edward? Of course I did. Did I love Edward? I didn't even know what love was, but what I felt for him was more than like.

"I… whoa" I blanched and she threw her head back and laughed.

"I am so excited, Bella. You have to tell him" she squealed and I interrupted her.

"No, Alice. I can't tell him that. You know I can't even take it when the machine at the store rejects my payment card, imagine me when he rejects me" he rambled and she broke my babbling by bursting into raucous laughter.

"You think he would reject you?" she laughed intensely and I felt embarrassed. "Bella, I'm pretty sure he is in love with you" she smiled and then jumped up and ran out of the room before I could say anything. I heard her yell something out into the rest of the house but I couldn't make out the words. She came back in a few minutes later and smiled when Carlisle was behind her.

"So," he said, smiling, "I hear you're not well".

**A/N: Cool?**


	15. Sleepovers and Bad Hair

**A/N: A feel good chapter (:**

I was at home in bed, despite the fact that Carlisle had found nothing physically wrong with me. No tenderness around my stomach, no sweat, no temperature, no dizziness or swollen glands. What he had found though was an increased heart rate and he asked Alice what we had been talking about before he arrived and she giggled before pointing to the roof, indicating towards the floor that Edward lived on. Carlisle had smiled at me and then questioned the conversation, wondering what could have possibly made me so nauseated that I threw up for five minutes straight. When he had asked me that question though, I began to think about it again and the nausea returned, leaving me hunched over the toilet very audibly evacuating anything I had eaten in the last 24 hours from my stomach. When that had happened, Carlisle had looked at Alice and told her to get me home, to get me away from the atmosphere and he asked her to not bring anything up again to give my stomach a chance to rest. I grimaced at him as he let her take me down the stairs and announce to everyone that I was unwell so she had to take me home.

When we'd gotten to my house, Alice had filled Charlie in on the fact that I was unwell but she manipulated the story in such a way that he allowed her to stay the night for he believed my illness wasn't contagious and that Carlisle had suggested for me to have company. I was astonished at her amazing persuasive skills.

The sky had gotten dark and my eyes were getting heavy so Alice decided we should call it a night. I protested to begin with but my throat was burning from the sheer acidity of today's activities, and truth be told; I wasn't feeling so great. Alice snuggled in on the bed with me and I closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful and thankfully dream-free sleep.

I was severely disoriented when I woke up. I knew it was a Monday and that I should be attending school today, but when I opened my eyes I saw that the lights was all wrong and it was in fact not the time I got up for school. I checked my alarm clock to see why it hadn't gone off and it was disconnected from the wall. I wondered when I had done that and then another thing caught my attention. I was alone in my bed and Alice's things were gone. Wild confusion took over me as I stared at my room and then I heard clattering in the kitchen downstairs. I climbed out of bed and stumbled out the door and down the stairs and entered the kitchen. I blinked my eyes furiously to understand if I was really seeing the view in front of me. I even went as far as rubbing my eyes and shaking my heard before I finally realized that I wasn't hallucinating and that I was in fact seeing what I thought I was seeing.

I stood rooted in place staring at Edward as he skilfully made his way around my kitchen, cooking. Another few minutes passed before he turned around and noticed me.

"Oh, hey" he smiled and continued to busy himself with the food he was preparing.

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?" I asked and grimaced because of how my voice sounded.

"True, but I still said it first" he smiled at me and my heart beat thudded noisily in my ears.

"True, so what are you doing in my kitchen?" I asked as I made my way into the kitchen and say down at the table.

"Alice called me and then let me in" he shrugged as if it were a normal thing.

"Is she still here?" I asked, looking backwards over my shoulder to see if there was any sign of her.

"Nope, she left this morning" he answered and I was suddenly very curious as to how long I slept.

"What time is it?" I asked him and he flashed me a smile.

"It is two in the afternoon. Hungry?" He asked, gesturing to the amazing-smelling pot of food that was simmering on the stove top. I was shocked at first but then gave up on feeling remorse for the day I had wasted. It was then that I took a moment to appreciate the way he looked. He was wearing his usual jeans but today he opted for a t-shirt that exposed most of his arms and I was shocked to see that his scars were worse on his bicep. I didn't dwell on that because I noticed him staring at me.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" I mumbled, blushing viciously. He chuckled at me and then flung the tea towel over his shoulder and I gasped because in the moment he looked so beautiful.

"I asked if you were hungry" he replied and I took a moment to assess myself. When my stomach grumbled loudly I heard him chuckle again and I blushed again. "I'll take that as a yes".

He busied himself with getting a plate of food together for me and when he set it in front of me he returned to get himself a plate together. When he sat down, I stared at him.

"Yes?" he asked, catching my gaze and voicing his wonder as to why I was staring.

"I'm confused" I announced.

"About?" he asked and took a mouthful of the pasta and chewing it slowly.

"Two things" I nodded and he put his fork down.

"And what might they be?" he asked him, a tint of amusement in his voice.

"One; why aren't you at school?" I began and he smiled.

"Didn't want to be" he said and I rolled my eyes. "Next question".

"Okay, why are you here, at my house, cooking?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I missed you" he said and I dropped the fork I hadn't realised I'd picked up.

"You… okay" I said and he chuckled.

"Is it alright that I missed you?" he said gently and I blushed, almost hating the way the butterflies I held in my stomach wreaked havoc on me.

"Uh, yes" I said in a shaky voice.

"Good, because I did. It was very new to me, not a feeling I recognized" he mused and I listened as he rambled. "I've never had friends as you know, so I didn't know was this strange hollow feeling was when I thought of you. I asked Carlisle about it and he said it was possible that I missed you and when I thought about it, I realized he must've been right. Also Bella, I must apologise for the way I behaved yesterday. It wasn't very gentlemanly of me at all and I asked your forgiveness" he said and I was too frozen to speak.

I was preoccupied by the way he spoke about me, and I was also a little stung by the fact that he referred to me as his friend, although I knew that friendship was all I could ask from this scenario. But when he described the hollowness I knew exactly what he meant, but on a much larger scale. It became clear that I was staring at him again so I shook the dazed feeling away and smiled at him, trying desperately not to show how I felt about his words.

"Nothing to forgive" I said but my voice betrayed me by cracking in the middle of the sentence. I cringed as I waited for the onslaught of questions about it, but it never came. I looked up at him and he was staring at me with the softest of expression. It was like the light shone directly through my window to accentuate his beauty, because in that moment all I saw was his perfection. I bit my lip and picked up my fork so that I could begin eating and he did the same, though he never once removed his eyes from me. Once we finished I got up to do the dishes but he shook his head at me, not allowing me anywhere near the sink. I grumbled incoherently as I made my way upstairs to shower and when I was finally locked in the bathroom, I took note of my appearance. I blanched with embarrassment as I saw that I had been in the same room as Edward for nearly an hour while I looked like I had slept on a stack of hay.

I rushed away from the mirror, desperate for the comfort of the shower and as I turned it on, I began to feel more at ease.

Once the shower was finished I dressed hurriedly, hyper-aware that Edward was hopefully still downstairs. I exited the bathroom and walked into my walk so that I could do something with my hair and stopped in my tracks when I saw Edward sitting on my bed.

"Hello again" he smiled as he looked up from the book he'd been reading.

"Hey" I said, feeling embarrassed again as I knew I hadn't done anything to my hair yet again.

"How are you feeling? Do you still feel sick?" He asked and he shut the book and patted the spot on the bed next to him.

I made my way over and sat next to him.

"Not much" I said and he eyed me sceptically.

"No more nausea?" he prodded and I winced as I thought about his situation again and a mountain high pile of it returned.

"Please don't remind me" I groaned as I bolted to the bathroom and hurled myself to the ground the let my stomach contents rush from my mouth.

"Bella, I'm so sorry" I heard him say as he held my hair back and rubbing my back.

"Why?" I managed to ask in between bouts of vomit.

"For bringing it up" he mumbled and then he didn't speak again until I was done. When I flushed the toilet he lifted me up and cuddled me to his chest and carried me to my bed. When he let me go, he disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared with a glass of bubbly liquid. "I thought you could use this so I brought it over this morning. It's lemonade, here" he said and handed it to me as I slowly sat up. I downed the liquid and suddenly felt very embarrassed.

"I'm sorry about that" I muttered and bit my lip as the blush took over me again.

"Don't apologise, you can't help being unwell, sweetheart" he said and I looked at him peculiarly because of the nickname. I suddenly felt very brave and close to him.

"Will you lay with me?" I asked and he seemed taken aback.

"Okay" he said and I scooted over so he could lie down. Once he did, I curled up next to him and placed my heard on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed happily before pulling the blanket over us.

I drifted to sleep again, feeling very happy, very content, and very loved.

**A/N: For some reason I physically didn't want to end this chapter ever. I think this story only has a few more chapters in it, and then I can produce the SEQUAL. **


	16. Maddening promises

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating yesterday! But here we go, Chapter 16:**

Edward and I had gotten into a pattern on seeing each other at every opportunity. He was the one thing that made breathing so much easier, and I didn't hate myself so much when I was with him. I knew it was a terrible idea to become so incredibly dependent on another human being, and the effects of that showed whenever he wasn't around. I would curl up and hate myself so much to make up for the time that I spent accepting myself while he was there, but after about half an hour I was okay to breathe again, so the consequences of my actions weren't so terribly severe.

Today was the Monday two weeks after the day Edward had surprised me by cooking me a meal in the dead centre of the day. It was also Nine days after Alice and Emmett had left and I felt incredibly lonely without Alice, but she called me every second day to make sure I was confessing my feelings to Edward and if I told her I hadn't she would make a disapproving tisking sound and I would promise to tell him, but never once did I stipulate a time.

Not only had Edward and I gotten into the habit of seeing each other, we'd also gotten into the habit of riding to school together. He would arrive at my house every morning and we would eat breakfast together before he would drive us to school. Charlie had joked that we were like a married couple and I had regretfully set him straight, even though every single fibre of who I was wanted to be with him. People at school had gotten over marvelling at us after the first few days and now they barely looked. They seemed confused about why Edward and I would be spending so much time together, but I think they just figured that we did because we were both burn victims.

I was often stuck in a swirl of madness when I thought of the repercussions of Edward and me if we were to ever get together. People of course would make assumptions that we would only be together because no one else would be with us but that wasn't true; at least not on my part. I knew Edward didn't feel that way about me despite what Alice had said that day. I tried to not get down about it because Edward was such a massive part of my life and I tried to convince myself that if anything were to happen it would ruin what we currently had, but it didn't stop my broken heart from yearning.

"Deep in thought?" Edward asked and I snapped out of my reverie.

"Huh? What?" I asked and he laughed at me. He smiled a lot more these days and my heart made a strange, twisted pump whenever he did.

"Is something bothering you, Bella?" he asked and my heart danced when he said my name. Could I tell him what was bothering me? Alice had made me promise; was now the time?

"Yes, actually" I answered confidently, content with the fact that I was about to pour my heart to the amazingly, beautiful boy that sat next to me as we were parked in the school parking lot.

"Care to enlighten me?" he asked and suddenly I became very frightened on his reaction. I knew that if I told him now and he became resigned towards me that I wouldn't have way home from school, or a way to get through the day.

"Uhm, no" I answered, shaking my head slightly.

"That is terribly frustrating, Bella" he grumbled and got out of the car. Before I copied him, I took a few minutes to calm down and convince myself that the things I wanted to say would be better if I actually said them. But that horrid little voice in my head told me that I wasn't loveable; that Edward would feel bad for me and act differently around me and that he could never even think I was beautiful. I sighed and listened to her, yet again.

I got out of the car also and followed him as he walked up the pathway.

"Slow down!" I grouched at him and he stopped where he stood. Once I caught up to him he began to walk again, keeping pace with my clumsy legs. "Why are you so grumpy all of the sudden?" I asked, noticing his scrunched up features while trying to catch my breath.

"Stuff" he muttered and I became concerned.

"Will you tell me?" I asked and he turned to look at me, a resigned look on his face which then turned sarcastic and annoyed.

"_Uhm, no_" he said the words I'd said earlier in a very bitter voice and then sped up again. I stopped walking and stood there watching after him. What was wrong with him? I never understood how he could go from happy to bitter in less than two seconds. It was both utterly frustrating and deeply concerning.

"Edward" I called his name when my senses came back to me and he turned to look at me again. I ran to catch up to him and he granted me the ease of matching his stride when I finally reached him.

"Yes?" he asked stiffly and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was bothering me" I said sincerely.

"It's okay. So, what was it?" he asked and I stopped walking.

"Uh…" I stumbled and he turned around the stepped back to meet me where I stood.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you scared? My goodness you've gone so pale I think if I concentrated I could see _through_ you" he rambled and I sucked in a breath.

"I want to tell you, but I can't" I grimaced at my weak wording. "Please understand" I whispered and his eyes softened immediately.

"I do understand. Why do you think you don't know what happened to me?" he asked and I gasped. His scars were a topic I tended to avoid because it didn't end so well last time I asked him about them.

"I just assumed you hated talking about it" I shrugged.

"It's a version of that I suppose. I can't talk about it Bella, because it makes me sick to ponder what your reaction would be. Apart from that anyway is the fact that I react terribly when I even think about it so I am unsure of how talking about it would go" he said and I was shocked at the way he freely spoke about how he felt about what happened to him.

"Well, I feel like that too I guess. Only, when I think about what's bothering I react weirdly. Like, I get a mixture of happy and sad emotions" I rambled and then clamped my mouth shut when he stared bewildered at me. "Never mind".

He groaned loudly and ran his hands through his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut.

"You cannot fathom the frustrating confusion that you are putting me through, Bella" he said and then opened his eyes. I blushed and bit my lip, shrugging in apology.

"Sorry" I voiced my regret and he shook his head and sighed.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked and then gestured for us to keep walking as the warning bell for class sounded. I walked beside him and then he put his arm around my shoulders. "I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me Bella" he mumbled and sounded very uneasy. I shook my head and put my arm around him, under his.

"I can talk to you about everything," I started and he turned and looked at me, eyes full of hope. "Everything but this," I clarified and he grimaced. "Not yet anyway. I will though, I promise".

**A/N: I hope you liked it (:**


	17. Dinner and a show

**A/N: Okay, so I know I am a crap human and I didn't update for two days! But here is chapter 17 (:**

Everything felt different to me now.

On one hand, Edward was confusing the heck out of me with his constant shifting between happy and brooding, and on the other hand I was trying to work up the courage to tell him that I thought he was the most wonderful person alive.

Tonight I was going over to his house to have dinner with him and his family. I always got butterflies when I knew I would be getting alone time with him, which was always. I was standing in my room looking at myself in the mirror. I was frustrated with my appearance and I couldn't seem to make anything look suitable on me today. I ran my fingers through my hair and then collected it in my hands before tying a band around it. I'd never been one to bother with make-up but for some reason tonight I wanted to look as beautiful as a burn victim could so I applied mascara only lightly. I then dressed in clothes that would cover my burns but not make me look like I was trying to conceal my entire body from the world. After I was sure that I wouldn't get any prettier for this evening, I left my room and made my way downstairs. I passed Charlie on my way.

"You and Edward madly in love yet?" he called and I brushed deeply.

"No, Dad" I mumbled and ducked my head.

"You going to tell him?" he asked and I looked at him, perplexed.

"Tell him what?"

"You know what" he said and then gave me a pointed glance. I sighed in defeat.

"I'm working on it. You didn't really give me much in the courage department" I grimaced and blushed and he laughed before granting my statement with a nod. I hurried out the door after that and climbed into my truck.

When I finally arrived at Edward's house it took all I had not run and jump into his arms when he greeted me on the porch.

"Hello Bella, you look lovely" he murmured and then smiled at me and my heart thumped at a pace that I couldn't fathom.

"Thank you" I mumbled and blushed so deep that I felt light headed.

"Embarrassed?" he asked and cocked his head to the side.

"No," I blushed, looking down. "Flattered" I said and to my surprise, he chuckled.

"Ah Bella, my sweet little insanity" he cooed and then ushered me inside while my heart was doing flips. He'd called me _his_ sweet insanity and I could barely get a handle on myself. I let him lead me into the kitchen where Esme and Carlisle were whistling whilst preparing a delicious smelling meal.

"Bella! Hello," Esme called and then made her way over to me to hold me in her gentle embrace.

"Hello Esme" I breathed and gently hugged her back.

"How are you today, dear?" she asked in a motherly way and I smiled as we parted.

"I'm alright, thank you and yourself?" I asked and she nodded in response with a smile.

"Bella, it's good to have you here" Carlisle said proudly and took my hand in his. I ducked my head and smiled.

"I haven't been here in so long I almost feel like a stranger" I mumbled and let out a light chuckle.

"Nonsense, you are always welcome here" Carlisle said and then Edward took my hand and squeezed it before walking over to help Esme finish the dinner preparations. Carlisle looked at me meaningfully and I blushed because I could guess that he knew I was falling terribly quickly for his son.

Esme called dinner shortly after that and I sat next to her at the table. Edward and Carlisle were in a deep discussion on the pros and cons of crosswords in brain training and Esme and I were talking about life in general. Esme stole a quick glance at Edward and Carlisle and then leant right over to me to whisper something. I leant closer into her and she smiled.

"It really warms my heart you know" Esme said and I raised an eye brow delicately.

"What does?"

"You and Edward. I know it's only friendship for now, but you two are going to make each other so happy" she said and her voice broke slightly.

"He doesn't… Uhm, I think it's just me" I said after clearing my throat enough times to ensure that I wouldn't cry.

"You are most incorrect Bella. I feel it in my heart. You should tell him" she smiled warmly and then quickly leant away. I glanced to where she was looking now to meet Edward's eyes and he was questioning me with them. I shook my head and his eye brows furrowed.

Dinner was over soon after that and Edward and I went off together. He took me down to a glorious little stream that bubbled serenely near his home.

"Would you please tell me what you and Esme were discussing so intently, Bella? She looked so happy that she could burst" he prodded and I winced and knew I had to do this now.

"I don't want to tell you, but I know I should" I whispered and he stopped walking.

"Why don't you want to tell me?" he asked and then took my hand.

"I don't know how to say this kind of thing" I shrugged and then tacked on something at the end, "It's new and I am so scared of it".

"You're scared?" he asked and his eyes and voice both softened exponentially.

I nodded and he hugged me and I closed my eyes and breathed in a shaky breath. I let go of him and stepped back, knowing full well that the hug I just received could very well be the last I would get from him. I closed my eyes and worked myself up to bravery.

"I… love you" I spoke the words out loud and then a massive weight felt as though it was ripped off of me.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked and then became a frozen façade of a man.

"I… Edward I am in love with you. You make my heart race and then it stops completely sometimes and I just want to be with you all the time. You are the most wonderful, most loving, kind, genuine and amazing person I have ever met and I love you" I rambled and then cut off, blushing. Cold fear spiked in my heart when I finally took note of his appearance. He looked distant, upset.

"Bella…" he finally said. I was elated, thinking that he was about to respond to me in a similar way and then my heart shattered. "You… I can't, I'm sorry" he said and then turned his back and walked away.

**A/N: So, she FINALLY told him. So why did he do that?**


	18. Life tied into goodbye

**A/N: So, Chapter 18!**

I think numb is the only word to describe how it felt watching the guy I just professed my love to walk away from me without a backwards glance. Maybe numb and broken.

I couldn't understand what would make him walk away from me other than the fact that he knew he'd gotten himself in too deep; that I was just a walking mess that had grown attached to him. I suddenly knew with every part of who I was that he couldn't feel the same way about me because to him I was just a lonely girl who he thinks is only worth a little of his time. I abruptly felt so incredibly guilty for wasting so much of his time when he clearly grew uncomfortable with the extent of attention I showed him.

I walked the long way around his house so that I could avoid him and his family. I gave the magic mansion a wide birth so that I could reach my car, make it home and break down in peace. I tripped over only twice and one of the times I scraped my thighs along the ground and I couldn't breathe for long enough to whimper. So, I just kept moving. I knew I had to just keep going or I would be a broken heap on the ground outside his house so it would just be another part of Edward's time that I would be wasting.

Once I was safely in the confines of my bedroom I let the tears fall. I knew I had to get them all out now because I didn't want to cry at school tomorrow, and I didn't want to cry ever again over Edward because I knew he could never shed a single perfect tear over me. I let myself crumble to the ground and dry reach as I replayed his face in my mind and the pure resignation I'd seen there. I let myself hyperventilate to the point of near fainting because I couldn't find it in me to breathe properly; to accept what had happened, but I knew I had to. Who reacted like this? Who in the world would genuinely have a complete core meltdown over being rejected? I could answer that question easily and thick with irony. It was me. I was the one who would do that. The girl who never had the hopes of getting anywhere in the realm of love losing everything she never knew she wanted. Figures that I could be the one to figure out I wanted love and then have it ripped from me by someone who I would never have thought would want me anyway.

Once I was sure I couldn't possibly cry another tear; that I couldn't feel anything, I made my way to have a shower. I was sure to avoid Charlie at all costs because no doubt he would ask if I had told Edward I loved him, and I couldn't handle that question.

I had a shower and crawled into my bed, begging for exhaustion to overtake me.

I woke up to the dull light of morning and my heart twinged at the thought of today. I knew I would have to see him, and I knew that I would have to be brave and not cry but for now, I knew that I would have to take every second as it came. Before I went to school though, I had to make a phone call.

She picked up on the first ring.

"Bella?" Came Alice's drowsy voice and my heart felt sad again.

"Hey" I said and my voice broke. She was immediately alerted to the fact that I was upset and began her crusade of questions.

"Bella, what happened?" she asked, panicked and I began to sob lightly, breaking the promise I made for myself.

"I told him" I whimpered and her breath caught.

"Did he say it back?" she asked and my sob became louder but only slightly.

"No, nowhere near".

"What did he say Bella?" she asked and I bit my lip and forced myself to be strong enough to remember.

"He said that he was sorry but he couldn't do this" I said and was pleasantly surprised at the strength that resounded from me.

"That doesn't make sense" I heard her mumble and then she told me she had to go but that she would call me later this afternoon.

Once she had hung up I got dressed and made an effort to make my face presentable. I passed Charlie and thankfully he didn't mention anything about Edward and me so I felt a little more confident in my ability to make it through the day.

When I arrived at school I had a strange sense of deja vu and it took me back to when I thought Edward hated me and I couldn't make it through the day without a single tear and I vowed that today no-one would see me cry, not even the tree that had been my safe haven. I made my way through the crowded halls and finally sat down in my seat for my first class. I paid extra attention to everything every teacher of mine said to me today because I knew that if I didn't then I would have time to dwell and dwelling on lost dreams was never a good act for the broken.

When the time came for biology I had to prepare myself so strongly for seeing Edward and when I entered the room I felt my entire confidence drown itself away. He sat there looking perfect as ever only this time he avoided my eyes and he didn't even glance in my direction or make any sign that he acknowledged me when I sat down next to him. I didn't know how long I could handle such potent rejection but I knew it was necessary for me to be able to be near him or I would crumble and he would surely pity me through his disgust. I suddenly realized how much of a fool I'd been for being hopeful in the first place. I could never hold his heart but he surely had mine tight with a lock and key in his hand.

That night I put on a brave façade around Charlie and again he was gracious enough to not mention Edward. At one point though he mentioned last night in passing and I thought I saw him react to the slight slip in my mask. He didn't mention it though and for that I was incredibly grateful. We spoke about mundane things such as the weather and my grades at school and once we were finished, Charlie drifted into the lounge room and put on the television while I made my way up to my room to do some homework.

Alice called again an hour later and listened to me explain the day and Edward's complete ignorance of my existence and she tisked and sighed in all the right places. Once we finished our conversation again I was starting to feel tired so I gathered my pyjamas and my toiletries and had a shower. When I made it back into my room and dropped everything I was holding when I noticed that I wasn't alone in there. I was confused and shocked as my eyes met two familiar eyes that held such rigidity that I couldn't move.

"Edward?" I whispered and he stood up and walked right over to me. "What are you doing in here?" I asked and my heart was thumping painfully.

"I came to say goodbye," he said, "I don't think we can be friends anymore."

"Why?" I asked but I already knew the answer.

"It's gone too far" he whispered but he almost sounded sad, and then he walked out of my room, and my heart registered the fact that he just walked out of my life.

**A/N: WHAT? Am I evil or loved?**


	19. Arizona is here

_**A/N: Chapter 19 everyone!**_

I knew it was cowardly, and I knew it wouldn't help anything but I didn't care so as soon as I was over my first bout of tears I called Alice and asked her if I could come and stay with her for a while. I didn't care what Charlie thought of me missing school because I was way ahead of my class anyway and I figured a few weeks wouldn't be too terrible a thing. She said yes straight away and didn't ask for details which I was thankful for. Alice was such a great friend that sometimes it honestly knocked the breath out of me. I finally worked up the courage to tell Charlie and to my surprise he seemed completely at ease with it.

"I knew you two would do all you could to visit each other since she came and stayed" he chuckled and I breathed out a huge sigh of relief.

"Thanks Dad" I smiled genuinely and he cleared his throat as I went to leave. I turned back around to see what he wanted and he smiled at me.

"So, when do you leave?" He asked and I grinned at him.

"Saturday; I figured I should finish off the school week before skipping off for two weeks" I smiled and he laughed loudly.

"I s'pose you're right Kid. Well, I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed. Night, Bella" he said and then made his way upstairs. I took the time that I spent in solitude in the kitchen to think about what I was doing. I was running off; leaving town so that I wouldn't have to face the boy who broke my heart. I scoffed at the ridiculousness of myself and made my way upstairs shortly after.

My sleep consisted of thousands of images of Edward and his disgust floating around in my head until they finally became the picture of rejection that I'd witnessed earlier this evening. I woke up several times shaking violently with sobs and whimpering words of denial. I gave up on sleep at five-forty five in the morning and decided instead to take a long, calming shower. While I was in there I pondered what the weather might be like where Alice was in Arizona. I had never been out of Forks so I was both excited and anxious to see how I could handle the sunny weather which I assumed was the covering of Arizona.

I finally shut off the water and slowly dried myself off, being extremely careful of my burns and scars as I had to every time I showered. I got dressed and threw my hair up into an easy pony tail and threw on some sneakers so that I could leave whenever I needed to. I ate breakfast in a daze and when I finally got to school I dawdled enough so that I had just enough time to make it to class. I ran to class and when I finally sat down and began to learn the day began to fly. I told all of my teachers that I was going away for two weeks and they gave me all of the work ahead of time which I was thankful for. I managed to not see Edward at all during the day and he wasn't in Biology so I didn't see him there either. I wouldn't let myself wonder where he was because he'd made it obvious that he didn't want me to have anything to do with him anymore and as much as that hurt I had to accept it and move on. I could do it; I had to.

When I got home I started to back for the two weeks I would be spending away. Seeing as I lived a sheltered life and had never gone to a place that wasn't wet in summer I didn't exactly have anything that would be suitable to wear in Arizona. I packed my only shorts and t-shirts and once I was done I called Alice to tell her my flight details.

"Hello Bella!" She squealed into the phone and I winced as the sound pierced my ear drums.

"Hey Alice, how are you?" I asked and she began to delve into an in-depth rendition of the day she'd had.

"… and that brings us to now" she said and I smiled.

"Well it sounds like you had quite an eventful Friday" I mused and she chuckled in response.

"I did, so what was the reason for your call?" she asked and then I pulled out my booking information.

"I wanted to tell you my flight details for tomorrow" I said and she sighed in understanding.

"Oh okay, just let me get a pen and some paper" she said and then I heard some rustling. "Okay, shoot" she said.

"Alright, I land at ten forty-five tomorrow morning at gate C" I said and I heard her scribbling vigorously.

"Alright, was there anything else?" she asked and I thought really hard.

"Not for over the phone. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I promised.

"Sure thing, see you Bella" she said excitedly and then the dial tone played.

I finished off any final packing that I had to do and then went downstairs to have dinner with Charlie.

"I want you to make sure you don't fall behind Bella" Charlie said as I was scraping the final spaghetti off my plate.

"I won't" I promised and he seemed pleased enough. Then though, he brought up the one topic that I wished he never would again.

"So, you tell Edward how you feel yet?" he asked and I looked down, not wanting to do this now, or ever.

"Uh, yeah" I said and he whistled.

"How'd it go, little Miss Courage?" he asked and I looked at him with tears welling in my eyes.

"Not great, not great at all" I said and then forced myself to breathe deeply.

"Really? I could have sworn he felt the exact same way about you. Gee, I'm sorry Bells" he said and he didn't pry. _You're not the only one,_ I thought, _only mine was a wish, not a thought._

We finished dinner and I made my way upstairs and finished any homework I had from today. Once I was finished that I realized that I was incredibly exhausted so I changed into my pyjamas, turned off the light and crawled into bed. I fell asleep very quickly and didn't dream at all and before I knew it, my alarm sounded and I was up and out the door.

The flight felt short to me and for some reason I was anxious to see Alice. A small part of me acknowledged that I was probably just reserved about talking to her about her cousin. When I walked out of the gate and saw her there with Jasper all of my anxiety went away. The weather was very different here than it was in Forks and I was almost grateful for the complete change. I walked over to Alice and Jasper and smiled as I hugged them both.

"Bella, it's good to see you again" Jasper said happily and I respond with my reciprocation.

"Alice, I think I need your help" I said wearily and she seemed confused.

"With what?"

"I have no Arizona-worthy clothes. Would you mind taking me shopping?" I asked and instantly regretted it because her eyes lit up like she just got all of her Christmas presents at once.

"_Really?_" She squealed and I nodded reluctantly. "Oh Bella, thank you! Of course I will take you shopping" she said and hugged me again. I was glad I could make her happy.

We rode back to her house while she rambled on about all things normal and I listened with complete and undivided attention. When we got there, Emmett and Rosalie greeted us outside and each hugged me. Alice and Emmett's parents came outside and I said hello to them and they mentioned that it had been a terribly long time since they'd seem me to which I agreed.

We all hung out together and when it was time for bed, Rosalie and Jasper excused themselves and Alice showed me up to the room I would be staying in.

"So…" she began as I was brushing my hair, "Edward called me". I dropped the brush and closed my eyes as I tried to ignore the painful hammering of my heart.

"Oh yeah? Good for him" I said as I bent down and retrieved my brush.

"Come on Bella, he feels terrible for the way he reacted the other night" she said and I was confused about which night she meant. "Believe it or not he actually thinks he has a valid excu-" I cut her off.

"What night are you talking about?" I interrupted.

"The night you said you loved him. He called me just after you did that night. Why? Did something else happen?" she asked and cocked her head to the side.

"Yeah, he snuck into my room and told me he didn't want to be in my life anymore, as friends or anything" I said and a tear flew down my cheek and I angrily wiped it away.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she said and then came over to hug me. She then went to one of the bedside tables and pulled out a bottle that I knew I'd seen before. It was the same bottle of blue gunk that Edward had used to soothe my burns when I'd first gotten them.

"Here," she said, handing it to me. "It'll help, they look pretty red" she said as she motioned to the bruises on my chest and legs. I was wearing a singlet and shorts to bed because my usual sweats and jumper wouldn't be weather appropriate here. My chest and thigh burns were very visible but the burns in between were still safely hidden.

"No thanks" I said, not wanting to even look at the bottle. A small part of me registered the complete irrationality of my behaviour but the rest of me didn't care.

"It's good stuff, Bella" she defended and I nodded.

"I know, I've used it" I shrugged and she seemed perplexed.

"They don't recommend it, how have you tried it?" she asked and I sighed sadly.

"Edward gave me some when we first met and I hurt burns so bad that I fainted in Biology" I said and chuckled sadly at the memory.

"Oh, I guess I should have guessed that" she shrugged in apology and I waved it off.

"Don't worry about it, I'm being stupid" I said dismissively.

"No you're not. It's an awful thing to lose the one you love especially when it was their choice" she said and then hugged me once more before going to her room which I found out was down the hall.

I crawled up under the light sheet that covered my bed and pondered what she'd said. Her words have been so painfully accurate. It _was_ his choice to leave me and I _did_ love him.

It's a terrible thing to lose someone you love.

_No_, I thought, _it's a terrible thing to lose the one you love because they can't find it in them to love you right back._

_**A/N: What do we think everyone?**_


	20. Crescents on wheels

**A/N: So, Chapter 20 already! I am so happy with the outcome so far, so here it is!**

Alice had been nothing but hospitable. She'd taken me on a tour of her town and she'd also insisted on paying for every single thing that was purchased when she took me shopping. I'd blushed my way through the shops and she'd insisted on Jasper approving all of my outfits to see if I could catch the glances of any of the guys that I may pass. As it turns out, I actually had caught their eyes, many of them. I was asked out more than twenty times within the first few days of being in Arizona and I didn't know exactly how I felt about it because I missed Edward so incredibly badly. I hadn't accepted any of the dinner, movie or beach trip invitations and I knew I was making a reputation for myself but I couldn't bring myself to care because I would only be here for another nine days and I didn't want to waste any of that away from Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie.

My saving graces had taken two weeks off school to be around me for the entirety of my visit and I would have felt extremely bad about it if their teachers hadn't given them the work and we all did homework and assignments every afternoon. During the mornings we generally either went to the beach or for a walk along the sunny streets and I was becoming acclimatized. I was anxious about returning to the comfort of the constant rain and clouds of Forks; the permanent safety hazard that I called my home. I spoke to Charlie every second or third day and he said that he missed driving me to the hospital and Alice had chimed in saying that she had only had to take me once; which was a complete and utter lie. The hospital here already knew me by face and by name because it seemed that in the five days I had been here, Arizona had made itself the most dangerous place I could have been. I fell over constantly, I got a concussion on my very first full day when I fell over at the beach and hit my head on a sand dune. I knew I would go down in history as the only person on the planet to get a concussion by tripping over on sand. The concussion had mostly subsided by now, after countless jokes about my sea legs and multiple other things that could be paralleled between the beach and me falling over.

Tonight we went to dinner at a small restaurant on the beach side and then went for a walk along the sand. Alice made sure to hold my hand so that I wouldn't fall over and I was grateful. It didn't escape my notice that I was quickly becoming the awkward fifth wheel in our humble little grouping. Alice and Jasper often got caught in the special, secret world of their entwined gazes while Rosalie and Emmett would whisper loving things to each other constantly. I was thankful for the distraction that they were, but in the moments when they were on their clouds I was walking alone on the ground. I missed Edward terribly in these times and I wished so fervently that he could be here, but I also made sure to wish that if he were here that he would sweep me off my feet and take me up into the sky so we could be on our own little cloud.

"Bella?" Alice's voice interrupted my brooding wishes and I turned to look at her.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"You alright?" She asked and I attempted to smile.

"Yeah, I guess" I said quietly and unconvincingly. She pursed her lips and looked at me.

"We'll talk later okay?" She promised and I nodded, not wanting to think about how I would admit that I was missing Edward while I was here with her and my other friends.

"Yeah, later" I agreed.

We continued to walk for another hour before making our way back to the car and driving home. Once we got there, Jasper and Rosalie decided it would be best if they went home, seeing as it was rather late. We waved them off as they drove away in their cars and then made our way inside and up to our respective rooms. Alice came into my room a small while later after tapping a soft knock on the door. She sat on my bed and her eyes followed me around my room as I prepared myself for bed. I opted not to have a shower because I knew I would be having one tomorrow morning.

Once I was finished my bed time routine I sat on the bed with Alice. She looked at me with curious eyes and sighed deeply.

"I knew it, I knew you've been missing him," she sighed and put her arm around me.

"How did you know?" I asked her and she chuckled softly.

"The same way people can tell when I miss Jasper; it's written all over your face" she smiled sadly and I looked down at my folded hands.

"Well, that sucks," I huffed and she laughed.

"You can't help it, Bella. He holds your heart; it was never going to be easy for you to be away from him," she shrugged dismissively.

"I don't want to be away from him, Alice" I said sadly and a tear rolled from my eye.

"I know, Bella, I do, but it has to be this was right now" she said in an attempt to sooth me.

"Why? Why can't he love me back?" I whispered and I began to cry softly. Alice's arm tightened around me and she rubbed my arm to create a soothing sensation.

"Boys are stupid" she answered and I shook my head.

"Not him, he's perfect" I argued.

"Have you told him that?" she asked and I scoffed.

"Of course. I told him that he was the most amazing and wonderful person I have ever met and he flipped out and cut himself out of my life" I explained and she hummed in disapproval.

"I am still so confused about that" she mumbled and I laughed void of humour.

"You and me both".

We sat, huddled together for another long while and eventually I began to fall asleep while leaning against Alice. She gently maneuvered me so that I was lying down and she was playing with my hair. After another few minutes she turned off my lamp and made her way out of my room, closed the door and then went down the hall to her room.

When I woke up the next morning I found a note on my bed. I opened it up groggily and read it.

_Come downstairs when you wake up, I have something for you, Alice._

I folded it closes again, showered and dressed. As I was walking downstairs I heard the humming of Alice's hurried vocabulary. As I descended further it became more clear.

"I still think you should come… because it's another eight days… No… yes she misses you… ugh, fine, be stubborn" she cut off when she saw me and snapped the phone closed.

"Who was that?" I asked, already knowing it in my stomach.

"A certain idiotic cousin of mine" she huffed and rolled her eyes before smiling at me. "Here" she smiled and I looked down at the bag that was in front of me. I saw the label on the bag and snorted and pushed it back to her.

"Tiffany's Alice? What have you done?" I guffawed and she seemed offended.

"I got you a present because I love you and you're my best friend" she grumbled and slid it back to me across the counter.

"Fine, thanks for the guilt trip" I huffed and she smiled triumphantly.

I pulled the bag closer to myself and peered inside to find a small, beautiful velvet box. I pulled the box out and opened it as tears started to well in my eyes.

"Alice… it's beautiful" I said softly as I looked at the diamond-studded crescent moon necklace that I held in my hands.

"I thought you'd like it. It's from all of us" she smiled and I smiled back, reaching out and hugging her.

"Thank you so much" I whispered and she hugged me tightly.

She helped me put on the necklace and then we headed out for the day's activities.

The next eight days passed way too quickly and I found myself very resistant to going home. Alice and Emmett's parents had dropped me off at the airport and I'd boarded the plane and now I was just sitting there wishing that I could bolt off the plane and live here forever; away from rain, away from Forks, away from Edward and away from heartache.

I guess we never get what we wish for.

**A/N: What did we think friends?**


	21. Destiny calling

**A/N: I know I'm a terrible person for leaving it for a few days but I am in the middle of when all of my uni assignments are due! Sorry xo**

I don't know why my subconscious had dredged up the wretchedness of hope within me, but I discovered it there, lying dormant until I made my way off the plane. It made itself known to be when I felt an overwhelming wave of utter disappointment at seeing Charlie waiting for me at the gate. I knew I should be grateful that he was here to meet me, and that I should feel happy that he missed me and cared about me, but I couldn't stop the feeling of sadness from sweeping over me when I realized that Edward wasn't here, even though I knew that he wouldn't be here; not by a long shot. So here I stood, feeling like a schmuck for not being grateful for the presence of my father. I put a smile on my face as soon as I was through brooding over my ungratefulness and crashing hope.

"Hey Kid! I've missed having you around the house. How was Arizona?" Charlie greeted me enthusiastically and I had to smile at the encouragement it gave me.

"Hey Dad, I missed you too. Arizona was amazing, very warm," I smiled and he chuckled before hugging me.

"Let's get you home," he suggested and I nodded, not liking the way the cold hit my skin as we walked out of the door and into the open parking lot.

The drive was quiet and it gave me time to think. I knew I had to get on with my life but I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to talk to Edward. I'd deduced that it was the rather large part of me pining for him that had dredged up the feeling but the other, infinitely smaller part of me wasn't so sure. When we arrived home, Charlie helped me carry my things up the stairs and into my room. Thanks to Alice, I now had an entire extra bag full of clothes and that didn't even include the things she made me leave in the wardrobe in my room at her house for my next visit.

"She took you shopping I take it," Charlie jested and I nodded and blushed.

"She's lethal" I responded and we both laughed quietly. As much as it was often awkward to show emotion between my dad and me, we could always enjoy each other company and have a laugh together. I'm sure that is exactly what my mum would have wanted for us, I just wished she could join in the laughter.

"How'd you go?" Charlie abruptly asked me.

"How did I go with what?" I asked him, confusion spiking every word.

"Wearing singlets and shorts and stuff, you know, with your burns" he explained and I immediately understood.

"It was okay. The first few days were hard but I think I got over feeling self-conscious around Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie" I shrugged and he seemed pleased with my answer.

"I'm glad. Maybe you could feel that way about everyone?" He asked with a hopeful tone and I became sad.

"I don't think I will ever be okay, Dad" I whispered, sadly. He noticed the change in my emotions and immediately came over to hug me, apologizing profusely for suggesting it.

"I really am sorry" he whispered and I sniffled.

"It's okay, when life gives you lemons right?" I said and his eyes grew sad.

"Lemonade doesn't always get made, Bells".

"I know, but I have to make it somehow" I said determinedly.

"I know you will" he smiled quickly and then left the room, leaving me with my thoughts.

I began to unpack all of my things and put them in their respective draws. I opted to call Alice as a form of distraction and she answered on the first ring.

"Bella, I can't believe you didn't call as soon as you landed, I've been worried sick" she fussed and I had to laugh at her. She really was such a light to have in my life.

"Hey Alice" I laughed and I heard her grumble on the other end of the line.

"So you're safe?" She asked and I laughed again.

"Yes Alice, I'm in my room" I said soothingly and I heard her let out a sigh of relief.

"That's good. How was the flight?" She asked and I rolled my eyes knowing full well she didn't care about the flight.

"It was boring" I mumbled and she giggled.

"You should have stayed here then" she chuckled now and I grimaced.

"I know, but I just wanted to call and say hey and that I'm home but now I have to go and unpack" I said and she huffed before saying goodbye in her chime of a voice.

I knew I couldn't talk to her for much longer today because my entire being seemed to be amuck with all of the emotions that my Arizona friends had inspired me to forget while I was there. The dejection, the rejection, the hopelessness, the utter yearning; not just for _him_ but for them also.

Once I had finished unpacking and putting my clothes away I slid my duffle bag under my bed and flopped down on it. The day had been so long that I felt like I needed an afternoon nap to make it through to dinner time. I closed my eyes and begged for unconsciousness and soon my prayers were answered and I slipped into a blissful sleep for of sunshine, beaches and the hope of not being the fifth wheel.

I awoke to a different light. The light was much darker than it was when I had closed my eyes and when I looked at the clock I blanched when I saw that my short nap had turned into a four hour sleep. I rushed downstairs and started to pull things out of the cupboard to make dinner and before long I heard Charlie's car pull up in the driveway although I hadn't even registered that he wasn't in the house. His heavy feet clobbered on the porch and then he was inside.

"Oh hey, Sleepy head" he teased and I playfully glared at him.

"I'm just making a start on dinner" I said.

"No need Kid, I went and got pizza. You were fast asleep so I figured you'd be too tired to make anything and I couldn't be bothered so I thought pizza was the only option" he chuckled and then placed the box on the table.

"Oh, thanks" I said, blushing.

We sat down to eat once I had packed everything away and then Charlie dropped his pizza.

"I forgot to tell you," he mumbled, finishing of the bite he'd taken.

"Forgot to tell me what?" I asked, amused at his rush to tell me what was bothering him. He finally finished off the bite he'd been working on.

"Edward called".

**A/N: So, he called. Hmmm…**


	22. Stand in the Rain

**A/N: Who's up for the final chapter of this story? Who's up for the sequel after that! Here it is; Chapter 22, the finale of 'Burns'!**

My mind was reeling with all of the possibilities it wouldn't let me ponder.

"He called me?" I sounded too shocked to be speaking and this puzzled Charlie.

"Yeah, are you two not on speaking terms?" He asked seeming genuinely confused by my reaction.

"I'd thought not" I murmured and he shrugged, picking his pizza back up and shovelling another bite into his mouth.

I stared at him with an unfathomable expression and he studiously ignored me. Once I was certain that my appetite wouldn't return I excused myself and went to my room to work around the rule my mind had made about thinking about why he would have called. I sat on my bed and stared curiously at the telephone which sat in the corner of my room. I had never noticed its marvel before now but I was suddenly captivated by its power to attach one heart to another through a voice connection. Suddenly the object rang a sound that resounded badly in my ears. I couldn't bring myself to answer it and breathed a sigh of relief when it stopped ringing. I heard Charlie mumbling on the downstairs phone and my heart picked up in pace when he called up the stairs that the phone call was in fact for me.

I gingerly made my way over to the phone and when I put it to my ear; I had to prepare myself for the conversation ahead.

"Hello?" I intended my voice to sound casual and nonchalant but it came out as a hopeful, yearning sound and I cringed as I awaited the response.

"Bella?" he asked and I rolled my eyes; _who else_?

"Yeah" I mumbled in response, not wanting to allow myself to feel anything about the fact that he was calling me.

"How are you?" he asked sounding overly polite.

"Fine and dandy, yourself?" I responded with a hint of venom in my voice.

"I'm alright" he said and I was done with the pleasantries.

"Why are you calling me?" I asked him abruptly, my voice cold and distant.

"I don't know" he admitted and I scoffed.

"You said you didn't want to be friends anymore" I reminded him.

"I know, and then you ran off for two weeks" he grumbled and I laughed in disbelief.

"As if you care that I was gone. Life was peachy wasn't it? I bet you had the time of your life while I was away" I hissed, not wanting to tell him where I'd been.

"You're wrong" I heard his soft voice come from the other end of the line and I was stunned into silence at the velvet texture of it.

"Well, I'm not going to wait around for your phone calls. You said you didn't want to be friends, and I'm granting you your wish. Goodbye Edward" I said sadly and hung up the phone. My breath caught up to be seconds later and I was curled up on the ground in a hyperventilating heap. Eventually I calmed down enough to crawl back to my bed and sit upright, and then it took only a small while for me to feel up to getting ready for bed. Life went on, I knew that.

My shower seemed to be over far too quickly and I made my way to my bed again to lay down this time. As I entered my room again I was shocked to see a very familiar scene.

"What are you doing here?" I scrambled desperately as he sat perfectly still on my bed.

"You hung up on me" he stated simply and I felt hot anger boil to my cheeks.

"You left me" I responded, flustered and his eyes twitched sadly.

"I did" he granted and then we stared at each other for a few immeasurable moments; a grimace gracing his disfigured face.

"Out" I finally managed to say.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked and my blush became deeper.

"I said get out. I don't want you here; it hurts too much" I coughed and he flinched. I wasn't sure how he kept getting into my room but I knew I would find out and then make sure he could never do it again.

He stood up rigidly and walked passed me and right out the door. As soon as he was gone I was shocked at myself and proud for being so strong. He was without a doubt the person I loved most in the world, and I was able to stand up again him. I shook my head in a daze and finally got into my bed after turning off the lights and closing the door. I closed my eyes and begged for unconsciousness yet again but my eyelids betrayed me by flickering with images of Edward and his burns, and the pictures ended with a shattered heart.

I awoke the next morning after a broken sleep and my eyes felt as bloodshot as I knew they would look. I groggily got dressed and made my way downstairs to enjoy the last day of my weekend. I didn't know how I would enjoy this mildly sunny Sunday because I seemed to have no friends in Forks anymore, but I decided I wouldn't let the rejection I was used to take me over. You never know how strong you are until your strength is all you have.

I decided to go outside today so I packed a backpack with snacks, a blanket and a few books to entertain me through the day. I dumped the bag in my truck and began to drive. I didn't exactly know where I was driving to, but when I saw the place, I knew I had been going there all along. I arrived at a lookout that displayed the beauty that Forks had to offer if you were into nature and the logistics of forestry.

I sat there for the longest time before I even opened the bag I had packed, and it was only when my stomach began to rumble at about midday that I realized I was hungry. I ate in perfect silence until I heard gravel crunching behind me. I thought I was being joined by a fellow bored patron of this dull town and when I turned around my heart lurched as I was almost too correct. Edward was walking towards me and I had no way to escape him.

"Why are you doing this? Haven't you done enough?" I hissed and all the pain and anger I felt was evident in my voice.

"I realize you don't want to see me, but I didn't think it would drive you all the way to Arizona" he shook his head and I gasped.

"How did you know I was in Arizona?" I blanched and he grimaced.

"Alice called me the night you got there and told me you were upset with me" he mumbled, a scowl on his face.

"I was upset with you. I still am" I confirmed and he nodded.

"Good" he said.

"How is that good? We used to be such great friends and then I fell in love with you so you chickened out and now I have no one" I said, beginning to yell.

"I didn't chicken out" he defended and that enraged me further.

"Yes you did! You said it went too far for you so we couldn't be friends. I poured my heart out to you Edward, I don't usually tell people how I feel but I tried to put every bit of love I felt for you into words and you couldn't even hear me" I yelled and he stood very calm and still.

"I did hear you" he said and I became even angrier.

"Oh great so now I know exactly why everything happened" I hissed and he raised his marred brow.

"And why is that?" he said and I was becoming very frustrated that he seemed to be the epitome of calm.

"You think I'm disgusting" I whispered and his jaw dropped.

"What did you just say?" he said sounding extremely shocked and I was glad to finally get a reaction from him so I raised my voice again.

"I can't help what happened to me. I know I'm ugly and completely and entirely unappealing Edward. I'm not an idiot; I see myself in the mirror, I know what my burns look like. I can't even stand to touch them so I know that nobody else ever will. Yours don't bother me at all but it's absolutely clear that you can't bring yourself to look past mine. I'm really sorry for being this broken Edward, really, but I'm not sorry for trying not to be" I yelled and then he became livid.

"What the hell did you just say to me? You think I think you're _ugly_? Bella, from the very first moment I saw you I knew that you were the most beautiful creature on the planet. Why would your burns bother me? Do you really think I am that damn shallow that I wouldn't look past that and see everything in your heart? Do you really think I would see you as anything other than perfect? I know you're broken Bella but I love you enough not to care" he yelled and then snapped his jaw shut as my eyes began to water.

"What?" I whispered; my heart pounding. Tears began to fall from my eyes and my hands began to tremble.

"You heard me" he said.

"If it were true," I started, "you would have said it back to me before and not let me think those things".

"I needed you to think those things Bella. When you told me you loved me it took everything I had not to sweep you off your feet and profess my undying love for you but I couldn't. You deserve so much better than someone who looks like me, someone who jumps between emotions. You deserve sunshine, perfection and stability and I can't be any of those things. I didn't say it back because I want what is best for you" he rambled and my heavy heart began to feel lighter.

As all of this was happening, it began to rain. I was standing across from Edward at the lookout and the rain was glistening off our skin.

"I've done irreparable damage. I'm so sorry" he whispered and began to turn away and walk back to his car so I picked up a rock from my feet and threw it at him.

"Don't walk away from me" I yelled at him and then took long strides towards him. "I know what's best for me" I said and then leant in and hugged him. His arms wrapped themselves around me securely and my heart hammered as I actually realized that he loved me too.

After the incredibly long hug, I leaned back and stood on my tip toes to kiss Edward on the cheek. My lips roamed his face and I kissed his right cheek at least a dozen times and I kissed his right eye while it was closed in the moment. Finally though, my mouth found his and I kissed him with a fire from the heart which burnt neither of us, but left our hearts irreversibly marked.

**A/N: So, that's the end of Burns! I'll have the first chapter of the sequel up within a few days but like I said in chapter 21, I'm in the middle of uni assignments so my life is incredibly hectic right now. Have a great night! xo**


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